Agent641

@Agent641@lemmy.world

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Agent641,

Guys, you gotta get your knob between the toilet bowl rim and the toilet seat so its squashed and held in place when you sit down.

Agent641,

You havent truly lived unles youve farted through your dick hole

Agent641,

Same with red cabbages.

Its a conspiracy by Big Red to profit from infringing on Purple’s intellectual property. All the other primary colours are in cahoots. Its time to take down their shadowy cabal.

Agent641,

My university recently forced us to use this shitpile to 2FA, it never fails to disappoint

Agent641, (edited )

Western Australia. Wildfires. I prepare by slathering myself in bbq sauce.

Agent641,

You pivot from being attracted to physical attributes towards being attracted to personality.

Agent641,

IDK about Bible 3 but the book of mornon is the weird fanfic of the bible written by a horny 13 year old

Agent641,

Ill never lose touch with tech. Except fucking ticktock. Or temu. Or that other one.

Agent641,

Its not gay if you do it sarcastically

Agent641,

There are two wolves inside of the USA…

Agent641, (edited )

Our daddy taught us not to be ashamed of our dicks.

Agent641,

This is quite gendered and stereotypical.

But hell yeah.

Agent641, (edited )

4 out of 5 participants enjoy gang rape

Agent641,

Women: Men only think with their penises!

Me: Frankly, I find the idea of a penis that THINKS, offensive!

Agent641,

Im a ryobi slut too, mainly for the price, except for a few old Metabo grinders which are built like brick shithouses and will probably outlive me.

Agent641,

I just unplug the exposed SATA cable from one ssd and plug it into the other SSD. I am the bootloader

Agent641, (edited )

When something bad happens to me, something that might make me angry or irritated, I say out loud or to myself in faux anger “This is the worst thing thats ever happened to anybody!”

Helps me to put in perspective the trivialities on my own misfortune, to laugh, and to move on, rather than brooding.

When Im having an acute bad time, mentally, normally due to nebulous worries about things or panic-thinking trapped without action or decision, the grounding exercise helps me. Name 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, 1 thing you can taste.

Writing in a diary has helped me immensely. People been telling me all my life to do it, but I always found it hard, until I found a tiny pocet book and .05mm pigment pen that I could write really small with. Small writing is my own encryption against other people seen what I wrote, its damn near impossible for me to read it back without a magnifying glass, and the small pocketbook can be carried around anywhere.

Agent641,

Any soup and any bread - both homemade. I cant stomach canned soup, but I make my own, prodigiously, and freeze it.

My favorite is broccoli cheddar soup, followed by a spicy tomato bisque which somehow seems it gets spicier the longer it stays in the fridge, then ham bone soup, then caldo verde portugese soup, then potato leek, and my most recent one was a red cabbage bisque which I have mixed feelings about, but I love to see the horror on my colleagues faces as I tuck into a weird, dark purple goopy monster blood lunch.

I like to make a skillet flatbread, the same kind i make when im camping. Water, flour, yeast, salt, olive oil, half a day of hanging out in my backpack while im hiking, punched down and pasted to the inside of a frying pan, smothered in dried herbs or maybe crushed pepitas, whatevers handy, covered in foil and baked on a campfire. It never comes out the same way twice. Sometimes the crust is burned, but flatbread is really forgiving, just scrape off the burned bits and theres good bread underneath.

Agent641,

We need an app to help us identify hotdogs from non-hotdogs

Agent641,

Just today I stole some cuttings from a random houses grape vine. Im pirating their garden.

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