@Kolanaki@yiffit.net
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Kolanaki

@Kolanaki@yiffit.net

I’m just a weird, furry, pan guy (cis he/him). I also have a big, blue username.

Currently on Earth for 8 years ensuring steps to unite humanity and usher us into the galactic civilization just so I can see my boyfriend again.

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

Kolanaki, (edited )
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Every trap needs bait.

Worms for fish. Fish for bears. Copper for meth heads.

Kolanaki,
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Hey, I can at least see the 2D anime girls. I haven’t seen hide nor hair of heaven or god.

Kolanaki,
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everything in liked songs

Skips until something good plays

Kolanaki, (edited )
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Now they’re $6. At least where I am. They’re not the best pizza; but they are the best pizza for $6.

Kolanaki,
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I can be two things.

Kolanaki, (edited )
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I’m not even the poop guy. I’m just the guy with the big blue name that posts a lot.

But yes.

Kolanaki,
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I could even imagine such a movie being titled “Highlight Reel.”

Kolanaki,
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movie about hackers comes out and is extremely realistic

It’s 16 hours long and mostly just of a dude sitting at a computer typing code

It bombs at the box office.

Kolanaki, (edited )
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Hackers shows “real hacking” in the form of social engineering, dumpster diving for passwords, as well as the bit about the pay phones that, once was true if maybe not by the time the movie came out.

Kolanaki, (edited )
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Thops pulling out an AR-15

“Who’s the bluntstone now, bitches?! Bet you wish you had my shield magic now, don’t you, you stupid stone-faced bastards!”

Raya Lucaria scholars fleeing in terror

“Who gave that maniac a key to the gate?!”

Kolanaki, (edited )
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I want all 75 million people to join me in an orgy. It’ll be the ugliest thing on earth.

Kolanaki,
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Me looking back at those people:

https://yiffit.net/pictrs/image/cb38cf93-86da-4669-96e6-3c3390d7d8a5.jpeg

Kolanaki,
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I mean… Sometimes I pass out right after jerking it 🤷🏻‍♂️

Kolanaki, (edited )
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Other, real people talking about it on sites like this. Finding groups with similar tastes as myself and seeing what they’re talking about. I also just read descriptions while I’m scrolling on the service or whatever and if it sounds good, I might check it out.

Kolanaki, (edited )
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I don’t want any cookies unless they come with milk (or save my login info for return visits on the same device).

Kolanaki,
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My dick’s too big to fit in the pores so I couldn’t fuck all of her.

Kolanaki,
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What if they have one because they refuse to wear a mask during a global pandemic while also refusing to get vaccinated?

Kolanaki,
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It’s gotta be beaten back down.

Kolanaki, (edited )
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saliva edible

Gross. Why you eating food someone spit on? :p

I remember doing that 100x salvia shit when I was in my 20’s. It didn’t do a god damn thing. We got the strongest shit and smoked a lot of it and the only person to seemingly have any kind of high was the dude in our group who always tried to get away with shit while drinking by acting a lot more drunk than he really was, so it’s hard to even take that seriously because in all likelihood, he was faking it.

Kolanaki, (edited )
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Tesla to Edison: “Im over here inventing electricity, and you’re just being an asshole!”

Kolanaki, (edited )
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I mean… It got the tire off. That’s what he wanted, right? 🤷🏻‍♂️

Kolanaki,
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If shit posting is supposed to be low effort, how are not all shitposts ai generated now? What could be more low effort than making a machine make the meme for you?

Kolanaki, (edited )
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…like being rated for ice

That might be a fun cruise. On an ice breaker through the arctic.

Kolanaki,
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How you want them to be:

https://yiffit.net/pictrs/image/864aad77-cbad-4e92-bde8-90e1173c4cac.jpeg

How they turn out:

https://yiffit.net/pictrs/image/0dd96a75-2cc5-4aa2-9488-ad69400ec11d.jpeg

Kolanaki,
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“Who took all my money?”

https://yiffit.net/pictrs/image/13b5daa4-a6ea-41fa-9508-ecb279011f1e.jpeg

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