@Kolanaki@yiffit.net
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Kolanaki

@Kolanaki@yiffit.net

I’m just a weird, furry, pan guy (cis he/him). I also have a big, blue username.

Currently on Earth for 8 years ensuring steps to unite humanity and usher us into the galactic civilization just so I can see my boyfriend again.

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

Kolanaki,
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I can be two things.

Kolanaki,
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I mean… Sometimes I pass out right after jerking it 🤷🏻‍♂️

Kolanaki, (edited )
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…like being rated for ice

That might be a fun cruise. On an ice breaker through the arctic.

Kolanaki,
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How you want them to be:

https://yiffit.net/pictrs/image/864aad77-cbad-4e92-bde8-90e1173c4cac.jpeg

How they turn out:

https://yiffit.net/pictrs/image/0dd96a75-2cc5-4aa2-9488-ad69400ec11d.jpeg

Kolanaki,
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It’s gotta be beaten back down.

Kolanaki,
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everything in liked songs

Skips until something good plays

Kolanaki,
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Me looking back at those people:

https://yiffit.net/pictrs/image/cb38cf93-86da-4669-96e6-3c3390d7d8a5.jpeg

Kolanaki,
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“Who took all my money?”

https://yiffit.net/pictrs/image/13b5daa4-a6ea-41fa-9508-ecb279011f1e.jpeg

Kolanaki,
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movie about hackers comes out and is extremely realistic

It’s 16 hours long and mostly just of a dude sitting at a computer typing code

It bombs at the box office.

Kolanaki, (edited )
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I’m not even the poop guy. I’m just the guy with the big blue name that posts a lot.

But yes.

Kolanaki,
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I could even imagine such a movie being titled “Highlight Reel.”

Kolanaki, (edited )
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Hackers shows “real hacking” in the form of social engineering, dumpster diving for passwords, as well as the bit about the pay phones that, once was true if maybe not by the time the movie came out.

Kolanaki, (edited )
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I don’t want any cookies unless they come with milk (or save my login info for return visits on the same device).

Kolanaki, (edited )
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saliva edible

Gross. Why you eating food someone spit on? :p

I remember doing that 100x salvia shit when I was in my 20’s. It didn’t do a god damn thing. We got the strongest shit and smoked a lot of it and the only person to seemingly have any kind of high was the dude in our group who always tried to get away with shit while drinking by acting a lot more drunk than he really was, so it’s hard to even take that seriously because in all likelihood, he was faking it.

Kolanaki,
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My dick’s too big to fit in the pores so I couldn’t fuck all of her.

Kolanaki, (edited )
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I mean… It got the tire off. That’s what he wanted, right? 🤷🏻‍♂️

Kolanaki,
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What if they have one because they refuse to wear a mask during a global pandemic while also refusing to get vaccinated?

Kolanaki, (edited )
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Tesla to Edison: “Im over here inventing electricity, and you’re just being an asshole!”

Kolanaki, (edited )
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Thops pulling out an AR-15

“Who’s the bluntstone now, bitches?! Bet you wish you had my shield magic now, don’t you, you stupid stone-faced bastards!”

Raya Lucaria scholars fleeing in terror

“Who gave that maniac a key to the gate?!”

Kolanaki, (edited )
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As much as I didn’t like the game, the MagX guns in Starfield are pretty dope.

The flesh guns in eXistenZe are also pretty rad.

The Zorg gun is cool, but I always liked Judge Dredd’s more. All the same multivariety of fire modes, but in a compact handheld design.

Kolanaki,
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I don’t need to look at the most common keys or the letters; but some of the weirder ones I don’t use often, I might have to actually look at the board for. Having them backlit helps see when it’s dark. 🤷🏻‍♂️

Kolanaki,
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Hey, I can at least see the 2D anime girls. I haven’t seen hide nor hair of heaven or god.

Kolanaki, (edited )
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Now they’re $6. At least where I am. They’re not the best pizza; but they are the best pizza for $6.

Kolanaki,
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If you try to use the god mode code from Doom in Heretic, it kills you and tells you not to cheat.

Kolanaki,
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Cucking Bald Therapists vs Cock & Ball Torture

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