@Kolanaki@yiffit.net
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Kolanaki

@Kolanaki@yiffit.net

I’m just a weird, furry, pan guy (cis he/him). I also have a big, blue username.

Currently on Earth for 8 years ensuring steps to unite humanity and usher us into the galactic civilization just so I can see my boyfriend again.

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Kolanaki,
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He’s got the money where he can be lazy and still fix his health. Hire a personal chef and dietician. A personal trainer and a gym. Take a minute and get a stylist.

And yet he still looks the way he does.

Kolanaki, (edited )
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It’s literally just seasoning and dried bread you mix with hot butter and water. If it tastes bad: How are you fucking up when cooking it?

Kolanaki, (edited )
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Other than the safety of undercooking it due to increased cook times: It dries out the turkey which is already a rather dry bird. If you actually want edible breast meat, don’t stuff the bird.

Kolanaki,
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Soda Pop. Together.

Kolanaki,
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I don’t even know how that jello is a sauce. It just stays solid even when warmed up. It’s good, but, like… On its own. I usually put it on my dessert plate, not the dinner one.

Kolanaki,
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https://yiffit.net/pictrs/image/dfa868a8-ed7b-4df6-ab4d-0f1ebf3ee4ca.jpeg

Kolanaki,
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There is actually an app for this on the Quest. I forgot what it was called tho (I no longer have one). It was pretty cool though. Like being in a virtual theatre with other people. Too bad you couldn’t throw virtual popcorn at the screen.

Kolanaki,
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I don’t think Jesus asked the prostitutes to give him handies under the dinner table.

Kolanaki, (edited )
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From what I understand: We don’t know! Science hasnt actually figured it out yet and I haven’t even read or heard about theories as to why we do it in regards to an evolutionary trait.

As for making them stop, there are several possible solutions:

  • hold your breath
  • gulp down some water
  • smoke a cigarette
  • Have the pants scared off you
Kolanaki,
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Lasting a minute against Moriarty doesn’t seem very difficult. Especially since I’m not Sherlock, and wouldn’t be able to pursue him even if I wanted to. 🤷🏻‍♂️

Kolanaki,
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“My gums always bleed when I brush my teeth.”

“That means you’re not brushing enough.”

“But I brush 3 times every day!”

Kolanaki,
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Don’t forget Robert Picardo can fit so many Zimmerman characters.

Kolanaki,
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I have noticed that Spiner is a great physical actor when playing Data. Have you seen this man throw himself to the ground? The absolute best is The Collector episode where he straight up planks, falls face first on a couch and bounces to the ground without even losing his composure.

Kolanaki,
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Sorry that most submissions are not of Dino Nuggets and apple slices to appease all the children.

Kolanaki,
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“MTV turns 30 today and we would like to thank them for 5 years of music videos.”

Kolanaki,
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To be fair, magic mushrooms actually exist.

Kolanaki,
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Society has always been fake. You’re just becoming more aware of it as you get older.

Kolanaki, (edited )
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I didn’t read the text in the meme at first and straight up thought this was a screenshot of Soldier in a SFM video for a second.

Kolanaki,
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If it’s not “the big man himself” my only guess is Jesus.

Kolanaki,
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“You girls ever been to Risa? Yeehaaaaaw!”

Kolanaki,
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His smell won’t last forever.

Give it back every once in a while to refresh it.

Kolanaki,
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I have a Keurig because I specifically do not drink coffee. I get apple cider, hot cocoa, teas, etc.

As for Linux I use Slack.

Kolanaki,
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Peanuts are actually legumes, so they don’t count right?

Kolanaki,
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Of course in his version of events, he kicks the crap outta Riker instead of embarrassing himself.

Kolanaki,
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When you wanna die quickly, but not instantly.

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