lemmyshitpost

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geekworking, in 'We are splattered here today'

What’s the last thing that goes through a bugs mind when it hits a windshield? Its asshole.

RedditWanderer,

While we’re on this very topic, isnt it technically his mind that goes through his asshole?

skulblaka,

I think that depends on your definitions of “mind”, “hole”, and “going”

creditCrazy, in If you like pina coladas, you might also like walks in the rain
@creditCrazy@lemmy.world avatar

I don’t get it. Like if you like dark chocolate but not baker’s chocolate you like the sugar more than the chocolate.

fidodo,

Sounds like you get it. They’re all dunking on their dumb logic

Tai, in If you like pina coladas, you might also like walks in the rain
@Tai@lemm.ee avatar

If you love table salt, but don’t like sodium metal, you actually like chlorine gas more than table salt.

Kase, (edited )

If you love table salt but don’t lick it directly off the floor, you actually like table more than salt

Dabro, in Let's not mention that His dad was looking at your dick.

Is that Mormon Jesus I spy?

The_Lopen,

That’s him. I’ve only ever seen a middle-eastern Jesus displayed in my church building once, but it looked much better than this one. I wish we didn’t use this depiction as much as we do.

howsetheraven, in So versatile and convenient

Why are there 2 guys sitting on one with another on their head? Is that the most common use?

mmazikinn,

in the restaurant we call this break time, the one on your head helps absorb the smell of your cigarette smoke, while the one on the bottom soaks up the swamp ass

Nachorella, in Lemmy world irl meet up footage 2024

Supposing this is real, how do you even fuck up wiping, wearing pants and sitting so bad that this is possible.

ArcaneSlime,

Maybe they were wearing really shart skirts.

mmazikinn,

this is why I always wear my inflatable buttplug to social gatherings

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA, in Help guys what do I do
@HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world avatar

Turn on a fan, put your feetsies in front of it spread out your toes. Let the air go between them. That help?

ObviouslyNotBanana,
@ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world avatar

Just makes the toes cold

mmazikinn,

my toes are now bluer than they were before. did I miss a step?

cristo, in Help guys what do I do

Dont wear normal shoes so often, wear flip flops or barefoot shoes

ObviouslyNotBanana,
@ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world avatar

Any shoes with a wide toe box will do

mmazikinn,

how’s

Nikki, in that watermark is something a doctor would write
@Nikki@lemmy.world avatar

please

mmazikinn,

I just used an M80 and some gauze

akincisor, in Try it yourself at home!

Lol all my fridge has is some condiments.

mmazikinn,

damn all I got is frozen chicken tenders, I think we may have something here

TseseJuer, in Always slackin cause I'd rather be quackin

not possible you have a human soul not a animal soul

mmazikinn,

speak for yourself, I’ve been shitting in my cat’s litter box for years

ininewcrow, (edited ) in Fish are our friends
@ininewcrow@lemmy.ca avatar

As funny as this is … there is an actual viral photo and video of someone doing this in real life.

It’s another example of how screwed we are as a species.

STRIKINGdebate2,
@STRIKINGdebate2@lemmy.world avatar

Have you considered what lack of pussy does to a mofo. The guy making the fish suck his dick is the victim here if you ask me. The true Villains are the females that refused to sleep with him /s

funkajunk,
@funkajunk@lemm.ee avatar

Redpilled Master Race

also /s

IndiBrony,
@IndiBrony@lemmy.world avatar

there is an actual viral photo and video of someone doing this in real life.

There’s also one of a monkey using a frog as a fleshlight. The more we evolve, the more we stay the same!

ininewcrow,
@ininewcrow@lemmy.ca avatar

Jesus … is our universe just depraved by default?

activ8r,

Yeah, pretty much.

DanglingFury,

Our universe is. We came along and applied morality to it

Slovene,

There’s also a vid of a dolphin using a beheaded fish as a fleshlight.

funkajunk,
@funkajunk@lemm.ee avatar

That’s some real sexual apex predator shit right there.

Assman, in Lmk
@Assman@sh.itjust.works avatar

Just fine dining and breathing, I’m afraid

chuckleslord,

“My name?”

lengau, in This is too relatable

Car culture turns children into prisoners in their own homes.

afraid_of_zombies,

Meanwhile every wannabe city planner on this site tells me how great winding burb roads are

azertyfun,

It does not matter how windy or straight burb roads are.

What matters is that they aren’t culs-de-sac for pedestrians/cyclists, allow mixed use zoning(!!), and are dense enough to support a diversified economy.

See: streetcar suburbs.

awwwyissss,

Hate to upvote someone from Lemmy.ml but for once you’re totally right.

lengau,

I don’t know why you’re being downvoted. That was hilarious and perfect content for a shitpost community.

awwwyissss,

I’m dead serious. You assholes chased me around and downvoted everything I posted for two weeks straight. So I made a new account.

Nothing but bad things from lemmy.ml, you’re a cancer on the fediverse.

lengau,

I’m sorry to hear there were folks who did that. I just chose this server because I wanted a general purpose one that seemed to have a decent chance of sticking around for the long term. I have no interest in harassing people or getting into server wars.

awwwyissss,

It’s not server wars, it’s a server designed to spread authoritarian propaganda behind a veneer of communism. But maybe you’re not part of that… if so good luck.

HenriVolney,

I am so happy I didn’t grow up in the US… Lots of biking and walking, a bus to go to town, school friends that tag along in the evening

TheFriendlyDickhead,

I mean even if you are old enough to drive, how are you supposed to get home after getting shitface drunk?

altima_neo, in Me and my kid IRL
@altima_neo@lemmy.zip avatar

He just does his boy dirty like that? Damn!

0x4E4F,

Lol 🤣… yeah, he likes it 🤣…he starts falling slow motion to the ground to evade the attack and pick up something bigger from the neverending imaginary aresenal 🤣.

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