lemmyshitpost

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captainlezbian, in We never see the moon's turtle though 🤔

The turtle moves.

Seasm0ke, in Krustavo Crabs wants you to make 40 krabby patties Spobgebob. No half measures, Spongebob.

Mike Ehrmantrout voice: Daring today, aren’t we?

Lemminary, in Burning the calories

I am so swole. My neck is thicker than my shoulders.

andrew_bidlaw, in This one's for you
@andrew_bidlaw@sh.itjust.works avatar

Stalin is unimpressed.

TheBlue22,

Good, hopefully he’ll spin in his grave, the bastard

umbrella, in Burning the calories
@umbrella@lemmy.ml avatar

This has the vibes of Facebook memes.

ares35, in You know tipping has gotten out of control when your son says we have to tip Santa with money.
@ares35@kbin.social avatar

can't buy-off santa for a measly buck. better make it at least $20, kid.

LifeOfChance,

More like 20% the cost of the gifts MINIMUM this includes if you got coal

Modern_medicine_isnt,

That would be spendy. The kids are getting new tablets this year. Though not crapple, so half as much as it could be. The old ones lasted about 6 years, thats pretty good for kids.

Surdon, in You know tipping has gotten out of control when your son says we have to tip Santa with money.

Santa has always worked on tips, that’s what the cookies and milk are for

redcalcium, in Did You Know?

If we dump enough holy water outside, it’ll enter the global water cycle and render the whole planet inhospitable to vampires.

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA,
@HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world avatar

have you tasted water its delicious all water is holy praise taplor god of wet

Damage, (edited )

It already happened, why do you think there are no more vampires around? It’s the pollution caused by the church!

howsetheraven,

Would it not be easier to have a mass blessing on each of the oceans? That takes care of 97% of the water.

Potatos_are_not_friends, in Did You Know?

I’m actually fascinated by “fiction science”.

Like, how much holy does a mist of water need to cause vampire damage?

Also pondering: what is the range of blessing water? Can a person bless a whole ocean? How much holy energy does a priest need to create true holy damage? Is “holy” in the mind of the beholder, like a business man seeing money as their God and uses a Benjamin as their holy symbol?

sneezymrmilo,

Have you seen the netflix Castlevania series? I feel like you would like it.

Snowpix,
@Snowpix@lemmy.ca avatar

Is holiness dilutable? Like, if there’s insufficient holiness for a given body of water to be considered pure holy, does the holy dilute into a less holy form? Would it still be considered holy water if you have nothing but the diluted stuff? Is there a limit to how much holy a body of water can contain?

pete_the_cat,

Like, if you mix holy water and tap water in a 50:50 ratio is the resulting water 50% as holy as before?

aeronmelon,

Is Holy Water holy because it is water or because it was blessed? Does the blessing remain if water changes state into a gas or a solid?

If you can have holy vapor, you can have holy ice.

Texas_Hangover,

And of course, you can shoot holy ice out of a fucking gun.

MightyGalhupo,

I dunno but the 1982 incident severely reduced the African vampire population

ExLisper,

You joke but the Catholic canon says that to check if someone is saint you have to pray to him and if miracle happens it means that this person can talk to god because only god can do miracles. And since he can talk to god it means he’s in heaven so his a saint. They actually have a pretend ‘scientific method’ they use for beatifications.

cows_are_underrated, in AHHAHSHAHAGAGA

Wise words.

Also: I love that Lemmy finally brings a lot of good quality shit posts into my feed. This was the one thing that I thought was better on reddit.

ShitOnABrick, (edited )
@ShitOnABrick@lemmy.world avatar
bruhduh, in Onlydogs
@bruhduh@lemmy.world avatar

They retrieve them

Varyk, in Did You Know?

This is a great point

eager_eagle, in Discord rule
@eager_eagle@lemmy.world avatar

need a hand?

ShitOnABrick, (edited )
@ShitOnABrick@lemmy.world avatar

high five?

pete_the_cat,

JIM!

SeeMinusMinus, in Discord rule
@SeeMinusMinus@lemmy.world avatar

“I would argue that masturbation is the human animal’s most important adaptation. The very cornerstone of our technological civilization. Our hands evolved to grip tools, all right—including our own. You see, thinkers, inventors, and scientists are usually geeks, and geeks have a harder time getting laid than anyone. Without the built-in sexual release valve provided by masturbation, it’s doubtful that early humans would have ever mastered the secrets of fire or discovered the wheel. And you can bet that Galileo, Newton, and Einstein never would have made their discoveries if they hadn’t first been able to clear their heads by slapping the salami (or “knocking a few protons off the old hydrogen atom”). The same goes for Marie Curie. Before she discovered radium, you can be certain she first discovered the little man in the canoe.” - Ernest Cline

NocturnalMorning,

If this isn’t a joke (which i think it is), you have a very skewed sense of scientists. If it is a joke, then carry on my dude.

SeeMinusMinus,
@SeeMinusMinus@lemmy.world avatar

It is indeed a joke

pyrflie,

The best jokes touch a deep truth. This one at least strokes the surface.

Send_me_nude_girls,

Masturbation is an innovator. So many inventions go back to “because porn”. Take current AI development for example, there’s a massive drive because porn and porn has only one job.

sgbrain7,

“The little man in the canoe” might be the best one I’ve heard yet

TheTetrapod,

God, I fucking hate Ernest Cline.

pthaloblue,

Reminds me of the Einstein jerk off skit from UCB

Ilovethebomb,

Marie Curie had a husband though.

dubyakay,

Had. And then she didn’t. Their marriage only lasted nine years.

EveryMuffinIsNowEncrypted, in Did You Know?
@EveryMuffinIsNowEncrypted@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

laughs in atheist vampire

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