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flicker, in Happy Holidays

I'm white. I have blue eyes. And when I was young, my hair was red. I was working retail, and this old lady said "Merry Christmas."

Me: "Happy Holidays!"

Her: "It's Merry Christmas. I know your boss doesn't like it, but you should say it to me. So Merry Christmas."

Me: "Are you Christian?"

Her: "Yes."

Me: "Well, I'm not. So Happy Holidays."

She got so stunned, like I'd slapped her. I was quite ready to get called in for being some kind of way with a customer but I guess she was too afraid of dealing with a heathen. Still, if you've ever worked retail, you'd know why this felt like a victory.

Mr_Blott,

Still, if you’ve ever worked retail, you’d know why this felt like a victory.

No idea mate, worked in retail for decades and no idea what you’re on about. But then I never lived in a country full of mentally ill people 😂

ChewTiger,

Yeah, I don’t think “mentally ill people” only exist in specific places or that specific areas are “full” of them. I mean, I know for sure at least one deranged person lives in your area.

Also I highly doubt you truly worked in retail if you never experienced a customer like this. If you did, you must have been lucky and in an extremely high end store.

People are the same everywhere in the world, no better or worse than anywhere else. Which is kinda great IMO.

EveryMuffinIsNowEncrypted,
@EveryMuffinIsNowEncrypted@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

I currently work in retail and OH MY GODS I FELT THE

T R I U M P H

THROUGH MY PHONE.

sirico,
@sirico@feddit.uk avatar

Hopefully you’re young enough that you didn’t have to deal with the christmas cd on repeat

Kecessa,

Young enough? You realise that’s still what they play in stores where people work retail?

Rodeo, (edited )

Well they don’t have CDs anymore, so how would they repeat the music?

Good grief, did this really need a /s?

Honytawk,

The radio does the exact same thing.

Kecessa,

Playlists?

pantherfarber,

There’s like 10 Christmas songs. All of them have hundreds of different versions. Doesn’t matter if your not hearing the exact same song. Your hearing the same songs on repeat. My last retail job the muzak box was accessible to everyone in the office so as soon as I would get there I would change the channel.

FlyingSquid,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

I worked in a video arcade in the 90s and we had a 1-hour VHS tape on repeat showing on TVs all over the arcade featuring recent music videos, cartoons, etc. That Christmas, ‘All I Want For Christmas Is You’ came out and it was on that tape. I heard that song every day of December, 8 times a day, 40 times a week, 160 times that month in total.

I hate that song so much more than everyone else does.

famousringo,

Wish them a joyous Yuletide. A cheerful solstice. A felicitous December.

magnetosphere, in Cope harder pasta eaters/s
@magnetosphere@kbin.social avatar

Seeing Dominoes as the standard for American pizza fills me with sadness and shame.

Yes, I know it’s only a shitpost, but still.

Vode_An,

Deep Dish erasure. It’s like our only original pizza contribution.

The perfidious Swede is known for curried bananas on their pizza. It could be worse.

mriormro,
@mriormro@lemmy.world avatar

Well, no. That would be tomatoes. Italians (and the world) have the indigenous peoples of the Americas to thank for that.

Vode_An,

GOOD COMMENT, I’m stealing that for that when I repost this on genocide day to trigger people from New Jersey.

Pizza as a dish is an American dish at its core. Land and credit for Pizza back.

Deep dish is still better than anything Italy ever made, look at the amount of tomato in there. The defining ingredient.

tastysnacks,

Genocide day? What are we doing this year?

tacosplease,

Celebrating with pizza of course

Vode_An,

What holiday do Americans celebrate that might have something to do with making Italian-Americans upset?

I’ll give you a hint, he said this in a letter: “They do not bear arms, and do not know them. They have no iron. Their spears are made of cane. They would make fine slaves. With fifty men we could subjugate them all and make them do whatever we want.”

TheGiantKorean, in Hallmark channel go brrrrr
@TheGiantKorean@lemmy.world avatar

I feel like these movies are like pop songs. I just picture a big factory somewhere where they produce these things en masse.

root_beer,

Imagine the heavy smog hanging over the area 🤢

mindbleach,

The striped death.

paddirn, in Hallmark channel go brrrrr

HolidayPorn

10_0, in Cope harder pasta eaters/s

Why is normie naked? This feels disturbing, please unpost this

Vode_An,

Reddit taught me that’s the normal way to answer and the driver takes the view in lieu of a tip

MintyAnt,

Seems normal to me, I can’t order Domino’s unless I’m fully nude… phone or on person. Figured we all had that problem!

Kolrami, in Hallmark channel go brrrrr

I don’t watch these, but they make a lot of sense. I’ve watched movies sometimes and been disappointed that there are no similar movies for me to watch. If you like a generic Hallmark movie you’ll have infinite content.

rotopenguin,
@rotopenguin@infosec.pub avatar

If you’re a dog and like “eating anything on the ground”, you’ll never go hungry

Contend6248,

You just eat what you know you like, if it’s good or bad is up to the person itself

10_0, (edited ) in Hamas are freedom fighters and not terrorists

Cucks to the government: Kill terrorist and claim land

Everyone: Why must war happen? I hope the civilians get out OK. Where can I donate to the victims of this war?

OP: I HATE LIBERALS AAAHHHHHHH

Imgonnatrythis, in Hallmark channel go brrrrr

Damn. Some very white Christmases in Hallmark land.

Decoy321,

My mother and sister fucking looooove these movies, despite how low effort cookie cutter they are. My favorite game while they’re watching is “count the POC.” The last one we saw together, I got to 1.

HikingVet,

What’s your high score?

ArmoredThirteen,

Also 1

Decoy321,

Two.

jaybone,

Do extras count, or do they need to have a speaking part?

xenoclast, (edited )

The Hallmark movies are mostly filmed in one of the whitest basic beige towns in British Columbia. It would be difficult to find someone. They do have an east Asian population but it’s small.

CertifiedBlackGuy,

If they ever need a black guy on set for whatever reason, give them my info

I like free food

norbert,
@norbert@kbin.social avatar

And since you're already certified the paperwork will be a lot easier to push through.

ICastFist,
@ICastFist@programming.dev avatar

Here’s a fun drinking game: one shot each time a new white character appears. Happy coma!

captainjaneway, (edited )
@captainjaneway@lemmy.world avatar

I love to just have them on, in the background. These movies are self-aware. The Netflix equivalent has its own universe with internal references to each other, which includes fake countries, maps, etc. I’m no joke invested in the Netflix Christmas-verse or whatever the fuck.

Hallmark is a little less fun to watch, but still quality rubbish. Everyone knows it’s over the top. The actors, producers, and writers are all in on it. I’m not saying that makes them good. They are still bad. But when you watch them knowing the content is almost intentionally cringe, it’s a bit better. With a slight shift in perspective and perhaps a bit of squinting, you can see the Christmas overtures as nothing more than satire. Last year, one movie just threw in a vague reference to Santa. No beard. No glasses. Just a guy who wore a red coat and occasionally would get 1-3 seconds on camera breaking the fourth wall. He had like one line. No gifts. No reindeer. Never interacting with the Christmas Couple. Just essentially an old dude in red. To me, that’s the height of humor. It’s like they’re just wafting a single sprig of holly over the film in the editing room. I crack up every time.

ares35,
@ares35@kbin.social avatar

they would never dare disrupt the cash cow with gays or queers, or atheists or 'non christians', or a realistic portrayal of a poor or homeless person, or too many brown persons.

AstralPath, in Happy Holidays

Merry Chrysler!

CodyCannoli,

Merry Crisis!

Grayox,
@Grayox@lemmy.ml avatar

Blasphemy, we celebrate Hondadays in this houshold!!!

Kase,

Absolutely not. Those commercials should die and be erased from history. Let them fall into the inky black chasm of oblivion.

(I really hate those commercials.)

Merry Chrysler! :D

Grayox,
@Grayox@lemmy.ml avatar

At the very least make it a Lexus December to Remember Sales Event!

Kase,

(⁠╯⁠°⁠□⁠°⁠)⁠╯⁠︵⁠ ⁠┻⁠━⁠┻

gmtom, in It's funnt because it's true

The same reason you have all of human knowledge at your finger tips, yet only use the same tired joke over and over.

captainjaneway,
@captainjaneway@lemmy.world avatar

Boom. Roasted.

xenoclast,

A common British cooking technique…

100_kg_90_de_belin,

Even better, he didn’t marinate it before roasting.

Nugget, in Banal SCP

IKEA has two sizes (one, two) of Tupperware that use the same lid size and it’s amazing. It’s like only having matching socks.

TubeTalkerX, in Hallmark channel go brrrrr

John Dillinger Triggered!

dangblingus, in Happy Holidays

Maybe that’s actually why they support fascism-lite?

SPRUNT,

They only support fascism-lite because it’s the next step on the way to pure-fascism.

Yamainwitch, in Happy Holidays

I have a neighbor just like this who INSISTS this is a Christian country and it’s Christmas break not WiNtEr break. Satan’s greetings from ya main witch! ✨🥰

Potatos_are_not_friends,

I always like the “Put Saturn back in Saturday” retort

EveryMuffinIsNowEncrypted,
@EveryMuffinIsNowEncrypted@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

I’m stealing this, I hope you know.

Yamainwitch,

Same! Love this!!

autokludge, (edited )
@autokludge@programming.dev avatar

Happy summer solstice! / ☀️🌊🎄🇦🇺

RiikkaTheIcePrincess,
@RiikkaTheIcePrincess@pawb.social avatar

Oh, I like that a lot >:D Jab 'em in both the 'Murica and the Christianity devious cackling ensues

Yamainwitch,

I love it, wishing you all a bright solstice! ✨🤩

Kase,

First time I’ve heard someone upset over calling it “winter break.” People are wild

Yamainwitch,

People are wild, they forget that sometimes. And some of those wild people really do love being victims, even if it is self made drama lol

Acters, in In Germany we say "Arbeitnehmerrechte" and I think that's beautiful

A lot of Americans’ lives rely on going to a place to spend money or work for money.

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