toilet humour
rustyriffs, Seat AND lid go down, always, no exceptions. Other than having a fundamental redesign of the entire structure, this is the only correct solution.
Seventhlevin, I’ve always thought that toilets should be more like shower stalls.
rustyriffs, care to elaborate?
Seventhlevin, Nah
rustyriffs, 'aight then.
Peppycito, Get one of those non-slamming lids and it’s too easy to knock if down while flushing. It’s half closed as you leave the room.
geogle, 
Only downside is when you’re at a friend’s place and realize too late that they don’t have such an awesome amenity. You end up being the toilet slamming asshole, yet again.
rustyriffs, I immediately imagined it being a heavy seat that gets slammed too XD
glibg10b, I’m feeling déjà vu reading this comment
vox, 
my toilet in rented apartment doesn’t have a lid
Triple_B, You can buy lids at Home Depot/Lowes.
OrteilGenou, Pro tip; keep an umbrella in the corner, pop it open and set it upside down on the turlet before you flush
Z4rK, I usually close it afterwards, unless I did a stinky - then I’ll leave it open to throw off suspicion.
rustyriffs,
Gabu, I truly don’t understand how this is a thing at all… Takes less than a second to open the lid, why would you not close it by default?
Raine_Wolf, PSA: For maximum hygiene, close the lid BEFORE you flush.
Kolanaki, (edited ) 
closes lid
Sits down
Shits on lid
Flushes
Raine_Wolf, Dad, you’re drunk!
rostby, My name’s not dunk
bratosch, Taking ‘Upper decker’ to the next level
cor315, But then how am I supposed to look at my poop swirling down the drain?
smeg, That’s the real reason I installed that camera under the seat
elvith, And how can I stand in front of the toilet and pee into the flushing toilet then?
Tavarin, 
Mythbusters found it makes no difference in the spread of fecal matter. Toilet lids aren’t perfect seals.
shplane, (edited ) Do you have a source? I googled it and this site said that Mythbusters found the opposite - theplumbingauthority.com/…/mythbusters-plumbing-e….
Tavarin, Going off memory of the episode.
And from what I recall your source is leaving out the part where they found poop particles everywhere when they flushed with the lid down as well.
Matriks404, Only at 25 I have learned I am supposed to close the lid, no one ever said anything about that before in my life. Now I am always doing it.
soggy_kitty, That probably means your parents didn’t put it down in the house you grew up in. You would have worked out it was always closed every time you walk in.
So you were never going to learn at home, you did well to work that out at 25
Caesium, I close the lid because otherwise my cat will drink out of the toilet
jopepa, Plus, it’s more mysterious and potentially surprising.
Send_me_nude_girls, Yeah that coworker who never removes his stains loves to make people focus on it.
CoolBeance, 
Well now I’m going to expect something surprising
jopepa, Then it’s just gross any way you’d flip the lid.
tiredofsametab, They don't have Washlets (bidet seats) so they're all a fail from me :P
Though 100% on closing the lid.
xantoxis, Best reason to close the lid: The things you do in the toilet smell. Lid keeps the smells from spreading.
remotelove, 
Flushing is a thing.
soggy_kitty, Tell me you haven’t owned a house without telling me you haven’t owned a house
remotelove, (edited ) I own two houses and seven toilets and I can’t say that I have ever had my toilets stink unless they are broken or not cleaned regularly.
Also, they might be stinky if I was to get my nose all up in there, but I tend not to do that.
As far as I know, my bathrooms all have working fans as well. That could cause issues if they were broken.
soggy_kitty, Cleaning regularly is the one, your short comment above insinuated flushing is all you need to do.
remotelove, The short comment I posted should be classified as a quip.
What it actually insinuated is there is a very short list of operating and maintenance procedures for toilets. If you are to the point of closing the lid to contain odors, some of those basic steps might be getting missed. Hence, the quip.
helmet91, Plus it hides the nasty stuff you leave behind, when you don’t know how to operate a toilet brush.
MisterD, I do it to prevent my dog from drinking from the toilet
Varyk, This is how I needed this dilemma explained to me.
variants_of_concern, Plus if you drop anything in the bathroom and the lid is up it’s ending up in the toilet, learned that one morning when I was about to brush my teeth, that’s when I became a dedicated kid closer
kn33, dedicated kid closer
“Listen, I just know you’re going to love this play set; and what a deal you’re getting on it, too!”
vic_rattlehead, Juice boxes are for closers.
jopepa, (edited ) I’m in sales myself and have always admired people that can close with such young markets. Your TEDx “Never Speak First” on power dynamic sales with preverbal toddlers was riveting, what other tricks have you learned to adapt with new generations?
CoolBeance, “By the way, I’m not too sure if this deal will last until after your afternoon nappies, so you should probably think about when you’re gonna pick this up! I mean, what a waste it would be, right? Remember Mr. Sprinklemuffins?”
Matriks404, (edited ) My braces single elastic band one time landed perfectly in the toilet bowl. At work, lol.
Kase, What did you do next?
No pressure, but your answer may dictate whether I sleep tonight ever again.
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