@Assman@sh.itjust.works
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Assman

@Assman@sh.itjust.works

Asses to asses, butts to butts

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Assman,
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Just fine dining and breathing, I’m afraid

Assman,
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I wish it was that easy to make croissants

Assman,
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There’s a really solid Country Roads cover in the film Whispers of the Heart from studio ghibli

Assman,
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I like this style better than what it ultimately became. Maybe just because it feels unfamiliar.

Assman,
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Five bucks says MTG

Assman,
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women tend to

I’m gonna stop you right there dawg

Assman,
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H*ck yeah it is

Assman,
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No Sleep Til Brooklyn

Assman,
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Dumbass DNA. Why make a human capable of eating a baconator if doing so melts your body from the inside.

Assman,
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Already passed them on unfortunately

Assman,
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People order delivery from little Caesars? I didn’t even know they had delivery.

Assman,
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UAE is the dong

Assman,
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Me: subconsciously moves 2 cm

My GSD: Rally to the commander! Form ranks! You live and die to serve the master!

Assman,
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Just wait until your evolved bacteria turn you into a toxic wasteland.

Wait, wasn’t this a Futurama episode?

Assman,
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Ah, actually I was thinking the one where bender is floating in space and the colony of little aliens on his belly go to war with the ones on his ass

Assman,
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My ancestors came in on the sandwich

Assman,
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In a dream scenario where they can get the right people to do it, I would vastly prefer a TV series. Even with the extended editions, there’s a ton of material in the books we didn’t get to see. Things like the whole sequence with the elves early in the books being turned into “hey look there’s some elves”, no Tom Bombadil, the journey from Rivendel to Moria. And that’s just the first book.

I think most would agree the world building is one of the best aspects of the books and there just isn’t time for that in a feature film.

Assman,
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I need a minute to process this

Assman,
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You’re going in my airing of grievances

Assman,
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I watched the whole thing and I never farted once

Assman,
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Here’s an idea: what if they were both slutty?

Assman, (edited )
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Jesus take the reins

Assman,
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🤍🫀

Does this mean what I think it means

Assman,
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Jandalf, yes I was once called that. Jandalf the Jray.

Assman,
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My truck was stolen, suspiciously right around the time Santa should have been there 🧐

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