@Kolanaki@yiffit.net
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Kolanaki

@Kolanaki@yiffit.net

I’m just a weird, furry, pan guy (cis he/him). I also have a big, blue username.

Currently on Earth for 8 years ensuring steps to unite humanity and usher us into the galactic civilization just so I can see my boyfriend again.

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

Kolanaki,
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Do you live in the southwest in 1930? If so: might have something to do with the dustbowl.

Kolanaki, (edited )
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Imagine all the people who would do the Matrix thing and learn martial arts… Only to gain the wisdom that knowing how to do martial arts doesn’t make it any easier when you’re fat and out of shape.

Kolanaki,
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I must be an immortal because I cried for all 3.

Kolanaki, (edited )
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Head Automatica - I Shot William H. Macy

What my friends and I heard when the album dropped: “Yeah, yeah… I put a sausage in your little hand!”

What the actual line says: “Yeah yeah, I’ll put assassins in your little head.”

Although my all-time favorite is and will forever be:

“Excuse me, while I kiss this guy” - Jimmy Hendrix

Kolanaki,
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I especially hate this because it’s often after like 10 hours of staring at a wall doing fuck all. As soon as I start doing literally anything, all of a sudden I’m in high demand.

Kolanaki, (edited )
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“This Movie Sucks and Everyone Who Sees it is Stupid”

Kolanaki,
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Maybe something to do with the 10 foot tall aliens down in Florida? 🤷🏻‍♂️

Kolanaki,
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I’m right here. 🤷🏻‍♂️

Kolanaki, (edited )
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It’s because he used the “:-)” smiley instead of 😍🥰😘😊 or literally any other smiley/emoji.

Kolanaki, (edited )
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No.

Even Martin Skreli, the dipshit who jacked up insulin prices by 300% didn’t get in trouble for that; he went to prison for security fraud or someshit.

However, if there was say a crisis going on and you raised the price of water you were selling to capitalize on others’ misfortune that tends to be illegal. Like when stores were price gouging on hand sanitizer during the height of the covid lockdowns.

Kolanaki,
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My brain:

Do you have a problem? -> No -> FREAK OUT!

Kolanaki,
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I know those fulfilment centers are big, but I wouldn’t expect them to be so big you could lose an entire ancient city in one. 🤔

Kolanaki, (edited )
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You drink the potion, and now your desire to fuck the fire elemental is gone. You have successfully resisted its sexual wiles.

Kolanaki, (edited )
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I always liked the Krondor series. It inspired several D&D characters of mine. Like The Witcher, it too has a video game based on it. Though it’s from way back in the day on DOS.

Kolanaki,
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I think I’d like to be an actor in one.

Kolanaki, (edited )
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Huh… Which school are HART and Hyper Tough from if it’s not Hogwarts? 🤔

Kolanaki, (edited )
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Burn your garbage. Burning garbage makes smoke that goes up into the sky and becomes stars.

Kolanaki,
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I keep them all in a little Tupperware so they don’t roll all over the place. And then I am real careful not to knock the Tupperware off the table.

Kolanaki,
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Save the dog by merging it’s mind with Seven of Nine’s body. Not because it’s a sexy body, but because it has the nanoprobes.

Kolanaki, (edited )
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Just have your GF make a wish for a pair of x-wings. Or that you both have super powers. Or whatever. She would be a new customer and this able to make 1 wish.

Edit: Wait… Did she just poof into existence or was she already in line? I’ve seen this comic so many times and only now am I noticing the girl is in the first panel.

Kolanaki, (edited )
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I would only think them to work better on Linux because the software you’re using isn’t made by the printer company. Their software sucks. The hardware sucks, too. They’re made to be shit because a perfect printer isn’t profitable.

deleted_by_author

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    Kolanaki,
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    Only if you don’t understand how being middle of the road can be worse than being awful.

    People talk about and remember things that are good; but they also talk about and remember things that suck. But nobody remembers or talks about things that are average.

    Hence how being “mid” can absolutely be bad.

    Kolanaki,
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    Sometimes I wonder if a Trill and a Gou’ld could somehow meet and fall in love.

    Kolanaki,
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    My dick never hit water, but my balls sometimes do. 🥺

    Kolanaki,
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    I saw a “not meme or shitpost” reason for removal and that’s kinda lame.

    If you have rules, put them in the sidebar mods. 🤦‍♂️

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