@Kolanaki@yiffit.net
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Kolanaki

@Kolanaki@yiffit.net

I’m just a weird, furry, pan guy (cis he/him). I also have a big, blue username.

Currently on Earth for 8 years ensuring steps to unite humanity and usher us into the galactic civilization just so I can see my boyfriend again.

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Kolanaki,
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Someone didn’t read the label that said to wash the ship in cold water only and shrank the fucker.

Kolanaki,
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I was in the top 0.5% of time listened; but I play a relaxing sounds playlist when I sleep so it feels like cheating.

Kolanaki,
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Why does this dude look like a real life Syndrome?

Kolanaki, (edited )
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If you live somewhere that’s consistently 98-100% humidity: Air cooling is simultaneously liquid cooling.

Kolanaki,
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Many places in the South. Swamps. Farmland. Etc.

Kolanaki, (edited )
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Durass! Pull the lever!

Computer: A WARP CORE BREACH IS IMMINENT.

WRONG LEVER!

Kolanaki,
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I feel like Jack Black from School of Rock. Except I can’t play guitar.

Kolanaki,
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Exactly. This isn’t anyone’s grampa.

It’s their great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great grampa.

Kolanaki, (edited )
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I grabbed a corn dog the other day from AM/PM and the cashier asked if I wanted mustard or ketchup and then when I said no thank you, gave me a look like I had grown a second head.

I like the corn dog. It’s not just a sauce conveyance vessel. And I only sometimes eat the stick too.

Kolanaki,
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Disgustingly delicious

Kolanaki, (edited )
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Oh. My. God.

You’re a genius!

I’m sure you could make a corn dog analogue that’s close enough without cornmeal based batter. Heck, use breakfast sausage, dip in pancake batter, deep fry. Best pigs in a blanket ever. 🤤

Kolanaki,
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But I’m going to need a drink.

Wash those 7 corn dogs down with an entire 2-liter of Coca-Cola.

Kolanaki,
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Mmmm… Baby back ribs. 🤤

Kolanaki, (edited )
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Someone call I.T. in here.

Kolanaki,
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You’re going the right way for a smacked bottom and I don’t care who knows it!

Kolanaki,
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I remember being on a cub scout camping trip and while our group was on a hike, we passed a little creek and there was some kind of foam building up at a spot where the water narrowed and got agitated around and some kid just yells “ew is that deer cum?” A few of us (myself included) laughed and some of the other kids were like “what is cum?” Which just made us laugh even harder while the adults tried to just get everyone moving again.

Kolanaki,
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This. Right here. Chats, forums. “Social media.”

Hate being around people; somehow can’t get enough of talking with them. Via text, anyway.

Kolanaki,
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He supplies the posts, I supply the comments. 🤷🏻‍♂️

Kolanaki,
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Olivem. Olivem all. 🥹

Kolanaki, (edited )
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Jay is more than likely a person, because I don’t think the kids are trying to bring back the old slang “jay” which was a somewhat derogatory term meaning “rube” given the context here.

Kolanaki,
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Shit, that’s my 82nd birthday. Make sure to send a gift on the 22nd that year.

Can anyone else feel sensations in their brain?

Last time I checked there aren’t nerve endings in our brain, so it should be impossible to feel sensations in my brain. However, at random times during my life, like seeing the plot twist in Fight Club for example, I’ve felt feelings in my brain. I just felt it again now while doing some intense introspection, and I just...

Kolanaki, (edited )
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I feel all sorts of things seemingly in my brain but I am 99% sure they’re not the brain itself.

Headaches often feel like they are in my frontal lobe, but I’ve also gotten other kinds that feel like they are located in the back of the brain.

When I smoke weed, my brain feels like it is relaxing and sagging, leaning against the back of my forehead as it chills. My friend often referred to this as “Frankenstein Head” and I’ve always felt that was pretty apt.

If I stand up too fast (being a tall motherfucker), my brain feels like someone poured pop-rocks into my skull for a moment. I also see multicolored dots and swirls in my vision.

When I get brain freeze, well… That’s pretty self explanatory.

If someone was to tickle my back, stomach or nibble my ears, I get an electric tingle throughout my entire nervous system, including in the brain. It feels like being static shocked all over, but in a good way? A “pleasurable electrocution” is the only way to describe it.

Kolanaki,
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All of them? No.

My messaging apps get to notify me. Everything else gets to fuck off.

Kolanaki, (edited )
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Relax; it’s just synthohol.

What happened to the PC games (or what happened to consoles)?

I got out of video game piracy for a while, but I’m coming back. One thing I have been absolutely SHOCKED by is how finding PC game torrents is actually kind of difficult from my normal sources. Now it’d be one thing if I just wasn’t seeing games, but for some reason Playstation and Switch have far more uploaders and...

Kolanaki, (edited )
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I only have problems finding PC games that use Denovu that haven’t been cracked. For obvious reasons. Even finding super niche indie content is relatively easy on most big trackers.

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