jayrodtheoldbod

@jayrodtheoldbod@midwest.social

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jayrodtheoldbod,

He just kills Tom Bombadil and then throws the rifle away, doesn’t like the smell.

jayrodtheoldbod,

Please tell me you made it talk to a bot.

jayrodtheoldbod,

The first thing that jumped into my head was that meme about American couples where the couple is always Nice, Decently Attractive Woman Plus The Most Racist Man Alive. It’s the same dynamic.

If the Slavic women aren’t drinking, thus making them all on average prettier than the men because drink makes you ugly, then I fear for what they are actually doing instead. Probably cocaine.

jayrodtheoldbod,

They absolutely saw how the AA and C and D and even the 18650 cells that every vape shop carries meant that a single supply of batteries could power any device you need them to and said absolutely the fuck not.

Never mind the terror that the CEO must feel as he contemplates tools that plug into any wall socket and need no batteries, ever.

Considering the market for the batteries, handy people with power tools, it’s kind of a shock that we’ve gone down without much fight. No, we won’t make some sort of viral battery carrier that you can 3D print at home, load up with 18650s, and use with an adapter for any tool. Yeah, we’ll just go ahead and buy DeWalt everything now that we bought that one battery pack for $75. Darn, if only I had the kind of tools that were good for grinding off little plastic nubs and shit that gets in the way. Oh well, time for my daily beating, it is what it is.

jayrodtheoldbod,

Not proper croissant dough, this comes in a can and would make a French baker angry. So it’s real easy to wrap the weenies in.

Don’t forget about those little weenies that come in a can, sometimes we wrap those in shame dough too.

jayrodtheoldbod,

direct action

jayrodtheoldbod,

Oh so sorry we misplaced your paperwork very badly for you Mr Navalny, I cannot say that we have a death certificate for you but I’m sure we could find one if necessary.

jayrodtheoldbod,

fuck sake i had to check the comments to see a hot dog, like some sort of topology joke

jayrodtheoldbod,

I was just gonna get incoherent and then ignore responses to my post

jayrodtheoldbod,

This is how the devil thinks that motivation works. He probably was a chef though.

jayrodtheoldbod,

Oh man I completely forgot about stupid Christmas ornaments.

I’m like what manner of skibidi toilet-ass Gen Alpha bullshit? Me picturing 12-year-olds wearing these around their necks like rapper chains for some reason I’m too ancient to fathom. Once again, I stand here caught off guard by some huge trend, as I melt slowly back into the earth to die unsung.

Nah. Just lame super-corporate attempts at a Christmas cash grab. Let’s hang this garbage from some pegs and see if it sells before we chuck it into the dumpster on January 1st. It’s not even going on clearance, it’s going straight in the trash.

Same shit, different day. Behold, the bedrock of your economy, naked before you. I am relieved. The grave has not taken me, not yet.

Anyway, carry on then.

jayrodtheoldbod,

Straight to management with you.

jayrodtheoldbod,

He just keeps pissing on the smoking wreckage like eh, dick’s already out, job’s not done.

jayrodtheoldbod,

Is that the Tree of Life on a pushup board?

jayrodtheoldbod,

It’s like some kind of fucked up art

jayrodtheoldbod,

I think you’re expecting some women to show up and argue with you like this is drive time FM radio with Wacky Bob the DJ but all you’re going to get is dudes trying to act like they won because they get mad at the word hygiene and piss on the seat when they leave just to spite you.

Yes, when they leave. They won’t put the lid down without a gun to their heads, but they’ll hold one last bit of tinkle just for you.

This joke needs a more appropriate venue, is what I’m saying . Nobody here actually cares about the subject.

jayrodtheoldbod,

Oh boy, forbidden lore, I bet he siphons all the gas out of your truck and looks like if Bigfoot was crackhead skinny

jayrodtheoldbod,

Oh dear I seem to have missed a very important meme.

jayrodtheoldbod,

the fuck is wrong with that guy’s eyes he looks like he’s been stung by all the bees

jayrodtheoldbod,

We call him Deez

jayrodtheoldbod,

Uh oh how was I to know that Thor High Heels was a minority opinion he said ironically

jayrodtheoldbod,

These personal urinals are great for when you have a big family and only one bathroom but you should really have a lid on it to contain the pee until it can be dumped in the toilet.

jayrodtheoldbod,

“When her IQ reaches 50 she should sell” is probably the wittiest one.

I’m going to assume that none of these teachers are real, some corndog just pulled this thing out of the fucked up meme engine that makes facebook suck so bad. Some schmuck who writes jokes for morning FM drive time radio probably sat down with a pencil and wrote these.

If it gets any worse it’s going to say “REAL FRIENDS STAY” in shitty cursive on a purple background and that’s it, that’s the whole meme, because facebook.

I wonder how close to the bottom of that drain we are now.

jayrodtheoldbod,

“Gettin shitty”, my buddy’s personal phrase for getting drunk, probably hoisted from his dad.

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