lemmyshitpost

This magazine is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

Big_Boss_77, in Merry ChristmaX
@Big_Boss_77@kbin.social avatar

Teach him to use it and send him down the path of one of the most frustrating career paths in existence...

Developer: Hey, I think the network is broken

Network Engineer: Okay, lemme check 30 seconds later nope, looking good, what's up?

Developer: There's a network issue, I ran this new code and lost everything.

NE: That's... not really how the network works...

Dev: I'm a Developer, I know how the network works.

NE: Really...? Do you know how servers work?

Dev: Yes, of course. ..

NE: Then why didn't you look that your code crashed the VM you were using and you need to restart it...

Dev: ...so it was a network issue?

NE: ...

Dev: to other Devs Hey guys, don't worry, it was a network issue, but I got them to do their job for once and fix it.

NE: resumes recreational liver destruction

afraid_of_zombies,

It is too real man

qjkxbmwvz,

After setting up my own network, and trying to (kinda sorta) do it the right way (multiple SSIDs, vlan segregation, restrictive firewalls for iot, VPN to a VPS, etc.) — I have so much respect for network engineers. First month with my new router, felt like I “broke the Internet” every other day.

BleatingZombie,

As a developer, we’re not ALL like that

geekworking,

Or he could go it operations where every day is “a bad day to stop sniffing glue” because you are the only thing keeping the house of cards up while dev and network squabble over who’s foot cannon broke shit this time.

wreckedcarzz,
@wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world avatar

Those last couple of steps actually involve a shotgun and condolences to the devs family. Take no shit.

RegalPotoo,
@RegalPotoo@lemmy.world avatar

As a developer who knows enough about networking and servers to know when I’m out of my depth, I’m sorry for my colleague. If it’s any consolation we all think they are an idiot as well

Crow,
@Crow@lemmy.world avatar

Networking has to be the most confusing and tedious IT work I’ve ever done. I still don’t fully understand all the basics of security. But by far the worst part is that troubleshooting can’t be done like normal programming. Network troubleshooting takes forever, and all you get is a working network. Network work feels so dull even I have a hard time seeing my effort.

jubilationtcornpone,

No kidding. There’s no debugger. You can’t just set a breakpoint and see what’s going on under the hood. It’s more like playing Russian roulette and hoping you don’t bring the whole network down.

It’s messing with the wiring while it’s still hot and there often isn’t a better way to do it.

dukethorion, in Jolly Old Saint Schrödinger
@dukethorion@lemmy.world avatar

Breaking and entering is okay on Christmas if you use the chimney?

FlyingSquid,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

Someone’s getting coal this year.

Perfide, (edited )

Entering, maybe, but breaking? What are they breaking? They’re just going down the chimney hole.

PP_BOY_, in Task failed successfully?
@PP_BOY_@lemmy.world avatar

Can’t die from suicide if you die from homicide first

SpezCanLigmaBalls,
@SpezCanLigmaBalls@lemmy.world avatar

Can’t go to hell from suicide if someone kills you

PP_BOY_,
@PP_BOY_@lemmy.world avatar

True but unfortunately his pants were 2% elastane so he will, in fact, still be going to hell

Omgpwnies,

Kirkland signature stretchy jeans are the GOAT. If I’m going to hell, at least I’ll be wearing comfy pants

wreckedcarzz,
@wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world avatar

That’s why I never wear pants at all! See?

idunnololz,
@idunnololz@lemmy.world avatar

Oh sht. The cops were the good guys all along. They’re angels sent by God to take us all to heaven 🙏🙏🙏

/s (I’m going to vomit from having to type that)

SpezCanLigmaBalls,
@SpezCanLigmaBalls@lemmy.world avatar

Truly a big brain move by god

Sanctus, (edited ) in The American mind cannot comprehend this
@Sanctus@lemmy.world avatar

What if I told you a car is not necessary for travel. Take the red ticket, and it all ends. You board your flight and go back to the west, back to your long highways and calculated suburbs. But take the blue ticket, and I show you how far these two feet can walk.

ryannathans,

I think colours should be flipped

Sanctus,
@Sanctus@lemmy.world avatar

Sorry, America is backwards land.

hOrni, in Imagine all the fart noises, living in harmony.

And when we execute Musk we will replace the whoopee cussion with a button that makes goat sounds.

explodicle,

I want to keep him alive, but everyone stops talking about him online, and when he tries to speak IRL everyone shushes him.

RegalPotoo,
@RegalPotoo@lemmy.world avatar

Put him on the first rocket to mars but make sure you filter the news feed from earth to scrub out any mention of him at all, and replace them with sentences giving credit to his subordinates.

He’ll go full shining within a year.

HiddenLayer5, in The Jebus Said So.
@HiddenLayer5@lemmy.ml avatar

So the people followed his advice, got offended, and crucified him. /s

jubilationtcornpone,

He’s not the memelord! He’s a very naughty boy!

thann, in Task failed successfully?

He reportedly yelled “killsteal”

billwashere,

I’m going to hell for laughing so hard at this.

hungryphrog, in The Jebus Said So.

JESUS DIDN’T SAY THAT I HOPE YOU GET CANCER

afraid_of_zombies,

Jesus didn’t say anything, he never existed.

hungryphrog,

You never existed.

afraid_of_zombies,

Most days I would agree but I am definitely biased on the matter.

dylanTheDeveloper,
@dylanTheDeveloper@lemmy.world avatar
overcast5348,

Your mom never existed.

jubilationtcornpone, (edited )

Did you just go full Facebook?? You never go full Facebook!

21Cabbage, in Heaven's newest angel

So, given the artist, do you think he was implying that Kissinger would’ve gone to hell for his actions or for being Jewish?

tigeruppercut,

Surprised he didn’t draw them both with huge muscles given how thirsty garrison is for his smelly orange daddy

Pacmanlives, in Task failed successfully?

My make your dreams just dreams

ridethisbike,

You ok, bud?

profdc9, in Merry ChristmaX

Please don’t show us what a Wii would look like.

wreckedcarzz,
@wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world avatar

Don’t kinkshame!

hperrin, in Merry ChristmaX

Better than a light switch.

wreckedcarzz,
@wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world avatar

What about a heavy switch?

RIP_Cheems, in Jolly Old Saint Schrödinger
@RIP_Cheems@lemmy.world avatar

Wrong, Google maps can track him and I’ve heard him in the middle on the night.

FlyingSquid,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

I’ve heard him in the middle on the night.

Are you sure that isn’t just a peeping tom?

RIP_Cheems, (edited )
@RIP_Cheems@lemmy.world avatar

No, if it was, he would have been shot on sight by my mom. I was really young when it happened.

RIP_Cheems,
@RIP_Cheems@lemmy.world avatar

Also, he’s already moving santatracker.google.com

FlyingSquid,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

Your mom didn’t shoot Santa, she shot a hobo.

RIP_Cheems,
@RIP_Cheems@lemmy.world avatar

I never said she shot him

FlyingSquid,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

Oh, she missed the hobo?

i_love_FFT,
@i_love_FFT@lemmy.ml avatar

Google map is late to the game. NORAD has radars and has been doing it for much longer.

Due to the uncertainty principle, they can know where he’s going or where he is, but not both at the same time.

Semi-Hemi-Demigod,
@Semi-Hemi-Demigod@kbin.social avatar

SG1 is probably helping track Santa since he’s quantum

FlyingSquid,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

We can’t measure Santa at all if we don’t want to have an effect on Santa. This is dangerous territory.

SubArcticTundra,
@SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml avatar

The problem with Santa Tracker is that he only visits like 20 cities accross the globe.
I live in bumfuck nowhere and I still get presents. That’s how I know that Google is lying.

CryptidBestiary, in Sign now!

As someone who lives at a city of casinos, I can tell y’all that I have no love for them. It’s quite the depressing scene inside a casino believe it or not. People spend all of their pay checks and pension gambling while breathing in cigarette smoke

RootBeerGuy,
@RootBeerGuy@discuss.tchncs.de avatar

I don’t need to live near one to realise that. Went to visit Vegas some 10 years ago and spent one of those days just walking from casino to casino, seeing those slot machine zombies depressed the fuck out of me real fast.

i_stole_ur_taco,

It’s odd how something as apparently exciting and delightful as gambling happens in giant buildings where not a single person is ever smiling.

FrankTheHealer, in Frequently

26 year old here. Happens constantly. I really wish reality would let me kinda pause time for a second like in a video game, so I have time to weigh up my options. Tbh tho, I’d probably still end up regretting things I’ve said

I’m getting better though. I can have a conversation with most people and most likely not say something completely fucking retarded. But there are times I say dumb shit and end up reliving those moments constantly in my head.

Cheskaz,

Give me that quick save/load function

GratefullyGodless,
@GratefullyGodless@lemmy.world avatar

One thing you can do for a pause in the conversation, is simply to put a thoughtful look on your face and stroke your chin for a moment while you figure out the best answer. This way the person you’re talking to knows that you were listening, so they don’t feel ignored, and it gives you that moments pause you need. Plus, bonus, sometimes they think you’re smarter and more thoughtful than you actually are.

wurosh,

Or just be honest and say “I need to think about it.” Wins hearts and minds big time.

  • All
  • Subscribed
  • Moderated
  • Favorites
  • lemmyshitpost@lemmy.world
  • localhost
  • All magazines
  • Loading…
    Loading the web debug toolbar…
    Attempt #