If you hit on every single person of the gender that you like at one gym, they’ll probably start to feel like you really just want just anyone who will say yes. They’ll probably feel like you don’t like them for them, and that you’re just trying to keep your bed warm. Most people who want relationships want to be with someone who likes them individually as a person. Try not to write “scripts” for the situation in your head too much, either. If you do, it might crash and burn the second that someone goes off of that “script”.
It’s kind of tragic how all of this has become. A relationship likely won’t fix any problems you might have with yourself, nor would it fix most of the other aspects of your life. A partner will also have their own needs and wants, and you should try to have room to provide some of that before you start dating.
Don’t listen to guys like Tate. If he really had good advice, more people from his fan base would be in a happy relationship now, no? He makes money by making you continue to watch his videos. That’s all he cares about. He’s giving you bad advice so he can keep making money off of your sadness. That’s not a bro thing to do.
Don’t follow the plot of any rom-coms. That behaviour is usually a fantastic way to get a restraining order and absolutely ruin any chances you might have had with that person.
Find the little things that make you happy. Gardening? MTG? Video games? Hockey? Drawing? MMA? Take the time to properly enjoy those things that you love with the people who are already around you. It will help build some of that confidence. Let youself be passionate about your hobbies sometimes. It’s ok, I promise.
Try not to worry too much if you mess up or if you ruin your chances with one person. There are over 8 billion people on earth, so there’s almost always someone else you can try with. NO ONE succeeds 100% of the time, and that is more than OK. That is human.
Don’t beat yourself up over not succeeding right away. Unless you are literally currently on your death bed, you still have time.
Outside of the dating stuff, be kind to youself, and try to make sure you’re taking care of yourself. Self care isn’t just fitness and healthy eating. Sometimes could be having pizza in the bath, sometimes it might be playing DnD over multiple continents, sometimes it might be watching cartoons, and sometimes it could even be something like skincare. Your happiness is important, and you should treat it as such.
As long as it doesn’t harm anyone else in the process, please do what you need to do to feel happy. Life is too short to pause your happiness for someone who hasn’t shown up yet. Life is too short to wait to improve things until you meet someone who hasn’t shown up yet.
You deserve happiness, and the sooner you acknowledge that, the better. Find happiness despite what life might throw at you. Try to find joy even in chaos, and always remember that bad feelings usually don’t last forever. You can get through these hard times.
If you don’t have anyone, then look for hobby groups. There’s groups out there for almost any hobby, so you can get to know people through that. Doesn’t even have to be in person, if the thought of meeting new people irl triggers your anxiety. And if you’re bad at talking to people then you need to practice, fail and learn from your mistakes.
If you have the desire to improve, you’ll manage. Just take it slow and don’t force yourself to get into very uncomfortable or new situations right away. Like, for example, big parties.
Over time, you’ll get better at improvising during conversations and you’ll get more confident. And if there’s people who try to shit on you for trying your best, don’t worry. They’re actually a lot more insecure then you’ll ever be at that point.
There’s groups out there for almost any hobby, so you can get to know people through that.
This advice only works for normal people. I’ve been going to the weightlifting gym and the bouldering gym at least twice a week for 3 years now, and I didn’t meet anyone.
No one at the bouldering gym? What country/state do you live in? I’ve been to two different bouldering gyms and got the impression that it’s one place where people happily help each other or discuss techniques or challenge each other to go up walls. This, however, is my experience in northern Europe in a city where this is a somewhat common sport to play.
Are there other bouldering gyms around, you might tey a smaller more neighborhood sized gym? Where I live there are a few, and I can’t imagine making real friends at the big crowded ones, but I’m a little over a year in and have made lots of acquaintances at my smaller gym. Only have done something outside of the gym with one person though, and it was pretty low impact, just online gaming. It does feel like progress though.
As for a “script” I basically just introduce myself after I’ve seen someone a few times regularly, (Hey, I’ve seen ypu around a bunch at the same times as me, I’m Glemek.) or if a conversation happened naturally. Which usually starts with an offer for advice on a problem they are working, or generally commiserating about a difficult problem.
My gym can be crowded but usually is pretty sparse when I am there, but I basically just try to be friendly to everyone, be an encouraging presence at the gym, and see if there are people who would make sense to be potential outside the gym friends.
To be fair, I wouldn’t necessarily consider the gym a place to meet people either. Most people there just do their thing and go home. 😅
If you really want to connect with people there you could ask someone to either spot you or ask them about something else related to the gym. Although I would consider that pretty advanced already. Sometimes a simple greeting whenever you’re there or some small talk is enough practice for a while. Even if it’s just the person at the reception or the person that you see there all the time. It helps.
Personally, I was forced to get good at talking to people through my job, but I used to get literal panic attacks before making phone calls. I still stutter from time to time, but only when I’m not focused (which is hard for me too lol). Also, therapy helps a lot for certain things, group therapy can be good too (also can be great for meeting new people).
I sometimes compare life in general to an Elder Scrolls game in my mind. You start out with shit stats, maybe some bonus stats. And then you have to work on each of those things to get them to a decent level so you can fend for yourself. If I achieve something difficult, I sometimes imagine myself leveling up. Sounds, pop-ups, the whole thing. 😁
Sorry for the wall of text btw, it happened so quickly lol.
I’ve followed this advice exactly for many years, and it lead me to a simple conclusion: These things that make me happy don’t connect in any way to relationship possibilities, and relationships will not make your life any happier. In short, dating is for chumps.
ha, you werent wrong. i just pointed out she worked hard, and made some non-stupid financial decisions and its like a poked a bees nest of billionaire-hate (which i actuallly understand). but god fobid people have a conversation about a humans talent.
Idk, she goes against right wing and is appluaded on lemmy if you search her name here.
she’s financially smart. She’s got a nice, built diverse portfolio. I don’t understand as an individual, its smart to be rich in this capital society 🤷♂️
You think that, in this day and age, with her political leanings, with the amount that she shouts about them, the woman who wrote and published the song Rainbow Dress would be afraid of coming out as gay to the point of lying when pressed to admit it because she is afraid homophobes will stop listening to her music?
So you’re saying she’s afraid of losing her famously numerous male followers? Or that her female followers (many of whom think she’s gay regardless of what she says in interviews) will start coming on to her because they now think they have a chance?
Since it appears you missed my sarcasm, Taylor Swift has a statistically insignificant number of male followers, and the ones who would think they have a chance more than likely think she’s gay regardless.
Real talk though, that’s honestly quite fascinating, isn’t it. Yiddish is a Germanic language while Hebrew is Semitic. Those are two entirely different language families, yet both languages use the same letters.
Also, Finnish and Hungarian belong to a common family even though they read and sound entirely different and have little cultural and no geographic overlap.
Moving forwards, using all my breath Making love to you was never second best I saw the world thrashing all around your face Never really knowing it was always mesh and lace
I’ll stop the world and melt with you You’ve seen the difference and it’s getting better all the time There’s nothing you and I won’t do I’ll stop the world and melt with you
Dream of better lives the kind which never hate (You should see why) Trapped in the state of imaginary grace (You should know better) I made a pilgrimage to save this humans race (You should see why) Never comprehending the race had long gone by
I’ll stop the world and melt with you (Let’s stop the world) You’ve seen the difference and it’s getting better all the time (Let’s stop the world) There’s nothing you and I won’t do (Let’s stop the world) I’ll stop the world and melt with you
The future’s open wide
I’ll stop the world and melt with you (Let’s stop the world) I’ve seen some changes but it’s getting better all the time (Let’s stop the world) There’s nothing you and I won’t do (Let’s stop the world) I’ll stop the world and melt with you
The future’s open wide Hmmm hmmm hmmm Hmmm hmmm hmmm hmmm Hmmm hmmm hmmm Hmmm hmmm hmmm hmmm
I’ll stop the world and melt with you (Let’s stop the world) You’ve seen the difference and it’s getting better all the time (Let’s stop the world) There’s nothing you and I won’t do (Let’s stop the world) I’ll stop the world and melt with you (Let’s stop the world) I’ll stop the world and melt with you (Let’s stop the world) I’ll stop the world and melt with you (Let’s stop the world) I’ll stop the world and melt with you
Been a while since I’ve used Word. If I recall correctly, you can hold Alt while dragging an image to make it act correctly. Oddly enough, I think I learned that trick from when I was really into the sims
Oh, I’ve seen that one. Well I scrolled through parts of it. Those that have seen the whole thing are scarce and frankly probably people I’d rather not meet.
About as much creativity on display as feeding the prompt to an AI. Be cynical as much as you want: even shitpost enjoyers get bored if you’re not creative.
Aren’t you being cynical, that people aren’t capable of a shred of creativity if they use AI to make posts?
If i had made my idea above and posted it, it would (and should) get downvoted and fade away into obscurity, regardless of whether i used AI or photoshop to make it
Aren’t you being cynical, that people aren’t capable of a shred of creativity if they use AI to make posts?
I’ve yet to see an AI generated meme that had any creative merit bigger than what I described. Just look at the original post! That’s exactly what I’m talking about.
People think of something that could be funny, if they did the legwork and put some creative effort into it. But then, they simply ask the AI to do the hard part and post it.
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