memes

This magazine is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

InLikeClint, in They're not even hiding it
@InLikeClint@kbin.social avatar

Very fitting to use a Steve Harvey meme, seeing that he's equally a piece of shit.

OldQWERTYbastard, in ATBGE?

The MelonMobile

teft, in How I tell my friends I'm on Lemmy
@teft@startrek.website avatar

You’ve got Aunt Irma visiting?

urda,
@urda@lebowski.social avatar

… you think the carpet pissers did this?

vlad76,
@vlad76@lemmy.sdf.org avatar

No! I’m a man! You’re a man! We’re men! pounds on chest like gorilla

DragonTypeWyvern, in You can even leave your doors unlocked and let your guard down.

And people wonder why the Founding Fathers wanted the right to bear arms.

They were scared. The spirits of their stolen land knew their sins.

Kyrgizion,

Well, USA was technically built on an Indian burial ground. We all know how that tends to go.

Kusimulkku,

DIY burial ground since Yanks had to put many of the Indians to the ground themself

DragonTypeWyvern,

Fun Fact: the reason the West Was Won was because after the American Civil War America had a whole bunch of army dudes standing around not necessarily ready to go home but not being “useful.”

Including William Tecumseh “Kill All The Buffalo” Sherman.

Semi-Hemi-Demigod, in Pocket sized
@Semi-Hemi-Demigod@kbin.social avatar

Looks like JNCOs are back on the menu, boys

Nepenthe, in Was it not ripe enough or something?
@Nepenthe@kbin.social avatar

I wish I could tell if this was fake. But I've worked in retail before

Dragster39,

Always remember, 50% of the population has an iq < 100 and a significant part of the population doesn’t know reflection besides their mirror alter ego.

ininewcrow, (edited ) in You can even leave your doors unlocked and let your guard down.
@ininewcrow@lemmy.ca avatar

I’m Indigenous and I’m actually more afraid of other people in a populated place … you never know what these damned humans will do next.

I have a cabin in the woods with no internet, phone or communications … it’s even out of cell phone range and I feel safer there than anywhere else.

I grew up with stories of Windigo … my parents used to freak us out with campfire stories in the dark and then pat us on the head and tell us to go to bed staring into the dark. My grandmother used to warn us not to make such dirty smoky fires because Windigo might see it from far away and find us.

I spent many nights alone out there and never had a problem … or maybe that is just want Windigo would like you to think.

The stories go hand in hand with stories of cannibalism in my culture. Many of the stories suggest that during times of famine, which regularly occurred before our modern era back about a hundred years ago, people would go mad with hunger. You have to realize that families of about five to ten people lived alone out there alone for months at a time or even years. And when famines occurred, the families would disappear and there would only be one lone survivor and everyone would quickly realize what happened. The legends suggest that over time, those people who had tasted human flesh eventually just started seeing others as prey to be eaten and consumed … they had been taken over by the spirit of Windigo.

And the stories get better because there is no one description of Windigo because it’s a legend that any one who has ever seen very few ever live to tell. One description we were taught as kids is that it is covered in mounds of animal furs and layers of human skin to misshape its human body into a giant monster. The other feature was the teeth and mouth … before it gets to the point of eating actual people, the famished person first starts eating themselves. They start ripping off portions of their lips and mouth to eat. It exposes their teeth and they can no longer close their mouth properly. So now you have this big hulking thing wandering around in the bush and when it looks at you, all you see is human teeth.

This is the Ojibway-Cree version of Windigo in the mushkeg and northern lake lands of Ontario. The descriptions vary from tribe to tribe throughout North America but this is the one I grew up with.

After many years of being in the bush … I’ve yet to see one … but late at night next to my camp fire in the wilderness, I always think of these stories.

The_Picard_Maneuver,
@The_Picard_Maneuver@startrek.website avatar

This is unsettling, but also incredibly interesting to read. Thank you!

The Germans are known for their terrifying stories used to keep children from misbehaving, but this is on another level.

Deceptichum,
@Deceptichum@kbin.social avatar

This sounds much the same level as any other folklore?

xantoxis,

I would absolutely sub to a community of stories like this.

Gigan, in Some days are better than others
@Gigan@lemmy.world avatar

Life isn’t fair, better to not dwell on it.

LemmyFeed, in Hot wife actually

Damned if they aren’t right.

elliot_crane,

Yeah… I don’t like when it happens, but I’m not too proud to admit they got me.

ininewcrow,
@ininewcrow@lemmy.ca avatar

damn it … now I have to check if my toothless cousins have eye brows

someguy3, in Th... Thank you?

Are you trying to tempt me?

D_C,

No, you come from the land of plenty.

Zehzin, in Revenge
@Zehzin@lemmy.world avatar

Kratos used to be on the cool side 😔

JustZ, in I've unfortunately made this mistake at Costco of all places.

My buddy did this one time. Ended up stuffing a can of tuna into his pocket without thinking and then got arrested because they thought he robbed the convenience store and killed the clerk, but it was actually someone else just in a very similar car. Gotta be careful.

amio,

I hate it when I have to commit murder for my tuna.

danc4498,

Bro, it wasn’t him! They looked similar and even drove similar looking cars!

jballs,
@jballs@sh.itjust.works avatar

You can’t make those marks without positraction, which was not available on the '64 Buick Skylark

JustZ,

He said something too about that there was some old lady that needed news glasses and she got confused and thought he looked like the guy that had shot the clerk.

hobbit,
@hobbit@lemm.ee avatar

Sounds like their lawyer was dead on balls accurate.

JustZ,

I guess, took him five tries to pass the bar.

AdamHenry,

It’s hard to tell if your chances of getting shot by the cops is part of the internet being an echo chamber or if it really is a thing we live with. Regardless, I avoid the interaction with law enforcement and bring the dog in if they happen to be combing the area. An American Bull Terrier on my street named Queenie actually got shot and survived.

31337,

When I was a teenager, a cop drawed on me and my friend. As I pulled into my friends driveway the cop turned on his lights and parked behind my car. Didn’t notice until we were getting out, so the cop drawed his pistol, pointed it at us and yelled for us to get back in the car (was “pulled over” for speeding).

I’ve also been woken up by police carrying AR-style rifles during a raid (not for me, for my previous roommate).

Smoogs,

That last one…did you all get SWATTED?

31337,

No, roommate was out on bail for a pretty serious crime. Detectives found out some stuff during investigation, so judge revoked bail, and gave police a no-knock warrant to retrieve him.

AdamHenry,

Hopefully you’ve made better friends. ✌️

Smoogs,

Robbed the convenience store and killed the clerk…over a can of tuna?

I’m not sure I could call myself a good police officer at that point. I’m not sure I’d think I was cut out for the job of even defining ‘criminals’ at that point.

spudwart, in You can choose normal, fancy, or wildcard.
@spudwart@spudwart.com avatar

I know a 100% native english speaker, who randomly switches between british, australian, Scottish and American accents.

Mr_Fish, in Th... Thank you?

I’m disappointed. Vegemite is clearly inferior to marmite.

CopernicusQwark,

Them’s fighting words…

Track_Shovel, (edited ) in You can even leave your doors unlocked and let your guard down.
@Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net avatar
Rai,

how are they all so fuckable

Track_Shovel,
@Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net avatar

Undead bussy/pussy must be otherworldly I guess

QuantumSparkles,

Bad opinion, good comment

Rai,

o I thought I had heard you say, “based opinion”, of which it undeniably is

  • All
  • Subscribed
  • Moderated
  • Favorites
  • memes@lemmy.world
  • localhost
  • All magazines
  • Loading…
    Loading the web debug toolbar…
    Attempt #