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Kolanaki, (edited ) in Go for it ben
@Kolanaki@yiffit.net avatar

“What is my purpose?”

“You help people get cancer by lighting their cigarettes, cigars, and pipes and occasionally arsonists burning down orphanages.”

“Oh my God.”

MrJameGumb,
@MrJameGumb@lemmy.world avatar

Do people still light their cigarettes with matches though? I can’t remember the last time I’ve seen anyone even own matches outside of a survival kit lol

Xanthrax,
@Xanthrax@lemmy.world avatar

Some liquor stores will give you matches if you ask, for free. It’s not terribly common, but it’s helpful if you’re a smoker and your lighter runs out.

yuriy,

I used to use em for a bong because it seemed real cool at the time.

NaibofTabr,
odium,

I use them for lighting up lamps

JusticeForPorygon, (edited )
@JusticeForPorygon@lemmy.world avatar

My grandpa used to keep cheap disposable matchbooks with him to light his pipe, the matches inside were basically paper, and I could never figure out how he lit them because every time I tried they would break or bend.

ysjet, (edited )

You hold the match with your index and middle finger, pinch the matchhead between your thumb and the striker, pull, and then just pull your thumb back before it actually gets hot.

Leaves you in a perfect position to block and wind with your palm/thumb. Just gotta be quick or you get burnt- or just have tough hands.

Then you just pinch the matchhead with your thumb/ring finger to put it out.

rockSlayer,

My trick is to fold the flap over top the match and lightly squeeze.

MrJameGumb,
@MrJameGumb@lemmy.world avatar

It took me a lot of practice back when I used to use them lol a lot of the time I would fold over the back of the matchbook and strike the match between the sides of the cover

klemptor,

Yup this is how I do it too

RedAggroBest,

Pretty sure this is the intended way too

GoosLife,

I know a lot of people who use them to light their fireplaces, since you just kinda prop it in there and leave it, which is unwise to do with a lighter.

grue,

Barbeque pitmasters in shambles

Diprount_Tomato, (edited )
@Diprount_Tomato@lemmy.world avatar

People who light up candles: 😟

oce,
@oce@jlai.lu avatar

Candles are actually bad for your home air and so are open wood fires, despite their romantic image. theguardian.com/…/too-many-smelly-candles-heres-h…

Kolanaki,
@Kolanaki@yiffit.net avatar

Birthdays don’t exist. That’s a myth made up by Big Cake to get people to buy more cake.

lugal,

Big if true

OneOrTheOtherDontAskMe,

…you guys don’t use long stick lighters to light birthday candles, so as to not burn yourself when lighting 30 of those sumbitches?

Diprount_Tomato,
@Diprount_Tomato@lemmy.world avatar

No. 🗿

MrBusiness, (edited )

Rechargeable electric lighter, baybee!

Edit: Also 2 pack of 0-9 reusable cake toppers

helpImTrappedOnline,

Nah, I just use my Spaceballs The Flame Thrower, the kids love that one.

killeronthecorner,
@killeronthecorner@lemmy.world avatar

Really want a big cake now

SuckMyWang, (edited )

I’m sorry but you’ve been fooled. It’s not big cake, it’s actually big candle. Big cake was just a decoy for big candle so people would focus their attention on an invisible enemy while they destroyed peoples lives from the shadows. Tell everyone.

I didn’t kill myself.

DragonTypeWyvern,

Of course you didn’t!

Falling out of the window was an accident.

VikingHippie,

Big cake was just a decoy for big candle so people would focus their attention on an invisible enemy

…where are you getting invisible cakes? 🤔

can,

On the bright side he can get some relief in knowing he’s taking them down with him.

driving_crooner, in Phone no work
@driving_crooner@lemmy.eco.br avatar

I have this recurring dream where I try to show a youtube video to someone but keep misspelling the name on the search bar and got increasingly annoyed by it until I wake up with bad mood.

NaoPb,

Ah this sounds ao familiar. I always press the wrong buttons in dreams.

fleabomber, in Go for it ben
@fleabomber@lemmy.world avatar

I bet there’d be different dialogue if the matches could feel pain.

TheHowTM,
@TheHowTM@lemmings.world avatar
ech,

Humans feel pain, but we don’t feel the oxidation happening in us constantly. I’d say it’s more about what you’re built for rather than strictly a concept of pain.

Rolder, in Decentralized [Work Chronicles]

To be fair, even if I was letting an employee make their own decisions, I’d still want to know what they are doing even if I don’t plan on interfering

CaptPretentious,

Yep, I’m an engineer, just one on the team. We are all doing different stuff. So I give him high level updates based on our OKRs, that way he can properly communicate my progress were it needs to.

afraid_of_zombies,

There is being in control and being in command. Being in command means you ultimately decide stuff being in control is when you allow no agency. What I typically do is give the people under me their own turf and gradually extended it as they show success.

ysjet, (edited )

So, as a manager (by technicality, I’m more of an engineering lead in truth) I see both sides of this. It IS better when everyone can just… Go constructively contribute. I love it. I get to focus on my own work. It is absolutely the way to go. Unfortunately sometimes hiring doesn’t go perfectly. And there are certain people where you have to micromanage them, because otherwise they’re just go to git commit absolute fucking shit, and it’s better to cut that off earlier via micromanagement, then allow it to pollute the repo.

So if your boss is pulling this, I see three options:

  1. They’re just a micromanager, which sucks.
  2. They think you’re a fuckup, and they are actually the fuckup.
  3. They think you are the fuckup, and you are actually the fuckup.

Easy way to tell- is literally everyone on the team getting treated like this? It’s #1.

Are several people that you think are morons treated like this? Are there several people who don’t get treated like this, even the people who don’t stand out as ‘rockstar coders’? You’re the fuckup.

Is everyone except the manager’s special rockstar- even the highly qualified, solid workers- being treated like this? Then the manager is the fuckup.

tias,

And then there’s the places where the CEO git commits absolute fucking shit

funkless_eck,

I’ve fretted for a long time about whether I was the fuck up for "micro-"managing someone on my team but this post makes me realize it really was just them. Marketing not engineering.

They would get really nasty when I would feedback with "you can’t just make your task names “write marketing email” 5 times, you have to specify what the email is about, and for what project, otherwise I can’t check if the email will go out on time.

And also they would go totally off piste - a blog on disaster recovery rigs for data centers came back totally about rebuilding cities after earthquakes, nothing about attacks or power failure or database backups.

I’ve worried myself for a long time that I was micromanaging and I’m a bad person for it, but it really honestly was them.

jjjalljs,

I was going to say something like this but probably less well written.

I’ve definitely had coworkers that I simply do not trust to commit code without review. And there’s one guy who’s a cool dude and all, but all of his ideas seem to be “let’s throw everything out and do it with a different library/language/paradigm”. And I’m just like no please no.

I’m not a manager thankfully.

sbv, in [ADHDinos] That's for future me

are we talking consequences or Consequences?

em2,
@em2@lemmy.ml avatar

Guess we’ll find out later!

LesserAbe, in [ADHDinos] Too much effort
Rodeo,

I swear every one of these comics is like that. ADHDinos is the king of low effort jokes.

ashok36, in How To Sound Wise

I was in a band during the MySpace days. We got a comment one day: “You sock.”

Was it a typo? Did they mean suck, or rock? Only one letter away from both and those letters are pretty close on the keyboard. Schrodinger’s Judgement if you will.

I still think about that comment from time to time.

Deregon,
@Deregon@jlai.lu avatar

It’s like standing in the middle of a bridge, the Levenshtein distance is the same no matter which way you look

AngryCommieKender, in Phone no work

13 Jan, 2024 I think…

sundray,

D’oh – every year I mess this up!

Ashyr, in The best friends

Dude, if you introduced them, were present at the proposal and officiated their wedding, you’re a lifelong friend even if they don’t invite you on their honeymoon.

scrubbles,
@scrubbles@poptalk.scrubbles.tech avatar

Yeah this sounds pretty dang selfish of OP. You gave two people their entire lives, new hopes and dreams, and yeah their friend circle is going to be tight for the rest of their lives…

But them doing couple things makes you jealous? Sounds like something OP needs to work on internally and figure out how to deal with those feelings

h3rm17,

Dude that’s fiction, a webcomic, not OP necessarily OP venting (though it could certainly be used as a medium)

XEAL, in Phone no work

They said the same about clocks/watches, but I’ve seen the time a couple of times already in a dream. Yeah, NOT the real time, but a realistic one.

NounsAndWords,

The trick is to look away and look back and see if the time changed.

AFKBRBChocolate,

My thought has always been that it’s not that things like that can’t work in dreams, but dreams are mostly symbolic and you’re more likely to dream about using a phone or something if you have an issue with what it symbolizes. For instance, I personally often dream about trying to call or text my wife, but either the phone doesn’t work, I can’t see the screen, she can’t hear me, or something like that. My guess is that the dream is about my frustration when I can’t communicate well with my wife.

I’ve also had dreams where I was stuck or trapped in something and couldn’t get my phone to work, couldn’t make my voice work to yell, or anything like that, and I figure that it’s because I have real issues asking anyone else for help.

Shieldtoad,

Around 3 years ago I dreamed I overslept and woke up at 6:31. I have to leave home around 6:10 to be on time for work.

That morning I woke up on time, but when I got in my car its clock showed it was 6:31. I didn’t understand how it could be that late and checked the time on my phone. Turned out the car was showing the wrong time, which happened to be the same time as in my dream.

Last month I overslept and woke up at 6:31.

edgemaster72,
@edgemaster72@lemmy.world avatar

You wanna dream up some lottery numbers for me friend?

abfarid, in Excuse me..
@abfarid@startrek.website avatar

I wanted to say “seed facial”, but if you think about it, all facials are seed facials.

XTornado,

I seed what you mean.

Imgonnatrythis,

I’ve had a vasectomy you insensitive clod.

abfarid,
@abfarid@startrek.website avatar

That’s fair. My apologies to you and your partner. May her facials ever be seedless.

Evil_Shrubbery, in The best friends

What’s my happiness compared to anyone else’s? Ofc this is the best case scenario!

InputZero,

Yours, mine, and everyone else’s happiness has value. I get that’s not the point you were trying to make. All I am trying to say is that a utilitarian approach to your own happiness will almost always leave you unhappy. You deserve to be happy just as much as anyone else.

Evil_Shrubbery,

Shut up, you are not my supervisor!!

(But that’s really sweet & regardless how stupid it sounds some people do need to hear that over and over again. I think it’s actually a net benefit to us all if everyone is kinda happy bcs that’s how we can have more to give in the long run.)

Vertelleus, in Phone no work
@Vertelleus@sh.itjust.works avatar

It’s like our dreams are AI generated. Words and times are nonsense.

d_chosen_one,

Need to count the fingers next time.

thanks_shakey_snake, in How To Sound Wise

“Well perhaps, but it’s more nuanced than that,” he said, without elaborating.

douglasg14b,
@douglasg14b@lemmy.world avatar

How do you effectively call this kind of BS out in professional social situations?

Evotech,

Just keep digging, direct questions

orca,
@orca@orcas.enjoying.yachts avatar

This works well. Lazy people will try to make others do the intellectual work of their argument. You just have to turn it around on them and ask questions that force them to open the box of whatever nonsense they started with.

Often times they will get tangled up in their own argument, or it will start to expose the contradictions.

umbrella, in How To Sound Wise
@umbrella@lemmy.ml avatar

so the jordan peterson method?

afraid_of_zombies,

There are two kinds of apologetics arguments. The direct flawed and the same ones but ambiguous. Peterson is the latter.

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