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S_204, in It's a good thing they aren't in charge of adult toys...

Was at a Christmas party last night and a guy dropped a 2 foot long double ended dildo on the table.

Male to Male adapters exist, but electrically questionable.

captainjaneway,
@captainjaneway@lemmy.world avatar

What parties are you attending that:

  1. Someone brings a dildo
  2. You describe that someone as just “a guy”

Having a dildo is questionable enough. Not knowing the guy who has a dildo at your Christmas party is extremely questionable.

S_204,

Really fun ones.

The guy in question is a firefighter.

Kage520,

Eh, a couple years ago one of my brothers gifted another brother a dildo from “Santa”. I have 5 brothers, so no one knew for sure who did it. Much hilarity ensued.

Noodle07,

Your dad to fuck with all of you

joel_feila,
@joel_feila@lemmy.world avatar

Furry parties have more then double ended dildo

Sway_Chameleon,
@Sway_Chameleon@lemmy.world avatar

I attended both a Halloween and Christmas party where the hosts had invited someone selling sex toys. Much hilarity and shenanigans ensued. They were both great parties.

sigh,
@sigh@lemmy.world avatar

ASS TO ASS! ASS TO ASS! ASS TO ASS!

CarbonIceDragon, in Fascinating...
@CarbonIceDragon@pawb.social avatar

Ah yes, the Vulcan on the Rooster on Dwayne Johnson, everyone knows that one.

DrMango, in What do *you mean things so small we can't see them with the human eye? Are you crazy?

Semmelweis was also kind of an asshole and would camp out by hospital sinks and yell at staffers for not washing their hands. He had the right idea, but he also had a shit personality which definitely contributed to the “everyone hated him” thing.

derf82,

It also wasn’t soap and water handwashing. He had them wash in chlorinated lime, which did turn out to be effective in killing germs but also wasn’t the most pleasant stuff to be constantly putting your hands in.

hydrospanner, in Good kinda

Lately with my workplace it’s been:

Deliverables Team: “Well here’s the deadline we set, so regardless of whatever happens, you need to have all of your work submitted by then.”

Design Team: “Yeah, we’ll get you our markups, but all in big clumps of work, most of it just says before the deadline, but a lot of it we aren’t even going to try to get to you until after that deadline.”

Me: “Okay well then you two need to discuss that because those two timelines are obviously incompatible.”

Them: “Yeah, no. We’re not going to work that out.”

Deadline arrives…

Deliverables Team: “OMG! Why isn’t this done?!”

Me: “Because I don’t even have the design yet!”

Deliverables: “OMG you’re going to make us miss the deadline! Why didn’t you say anything before?!”

Me: First off, this is just a random internal deadline you set. There’s zero real effect of not meeting it. Second, it’s not me making us miss it; I can’t model and draw what I haven’t received the design for. Third, I did say something before, several times in fact."

Deliverables: “Well you need to talk to your design team and make them hurry.”

Me: I can’t and won’t attempt to do that. But I’ll let them know you’re wound up over it.

Lets design team know that deliverables is bent out of shape over missing their made up deadline.

Half of Design Team: Yeah lol they’ll get over it, and if they don’t, they’re only freaking out on you, so we don’t care.

Other Half of Design Team: OMG you missed the deadline?! How could you?!

Me: Well it’s because you guys haven’t gotten me any designs yet.

Design Team: Yeah we’re still working on it and we don’t have a timeline on when we are going to get it to you…but when will you have it done?

Sir_Premiumhengst,

Too real

psy32nd,

Writing everyone’s comments at a time is an offense! LET OTHERS WRITE!

hydrospanner,

My apologies.

Next time I’ll submit my comment well after the deadline.

psy32nd,

You have already replied after the deadline.

hydrospanner,

…most deliberately.

veni_vedi_veni, in Motivational

Sadly, the age of garage tech startups is over, big tech made sure of that. They now just buy tech start ups with no intention of leveraging their innovations, but rather to maintain the status quo. Late stage capitalism…

The_Picard_Maneuver,
@The_Picard_Maneuver@startrek.website avatar

I know it’s not a business, but the whole fediverse gives “garage startup” vibes, and it’s refreshing.

Sorgan71,

no such thing as big tech. Just tech companies

phx,

Garage tech startups where the garage belongs to your already upper-income-class parents

Aussiemandeus, in You'll probably need a lot of imagination..
@Aussiemandeus@aussie.zone avatar

I love the one where it’s blowing on her face

Imgonnatrythis,

Sicko

ax_xa, in How do you like this, sexists?

Do I have to be sexist to like it? Because I like it a lot.

kn0wmad1c, in The barbieheimer debate rages
@kn0wmad1c@programming.dev avatar

You can also watch either movie if you’re stupid and alone. I should know because I did it.

redcalcium, in Dude, get out of here

That’s a funny looking stray cat.

XEAL, in Dude, get out of here

The alligator/crocothing was really confused

Jerb322,
@Jerb322@lemmy.world avatar

Your first guess was correct. Wide, blunt snout gives it away. Crocodiles- skinny, toothy snout.

Uncle_Bagel,

They would have been fucked if it was a crocodile. American alligators are usually super chill and aren’t a problem so long as you aren’t actively antagonizing them. Crocodiles, meanwhile, are colossal assholes that are always looking to fuck up someone’s day.

kautau,

There’s also American crocodiles, which are very shy and reclusive as well. If it was a saltwater or Nile croc though, yeah, it would have made a point of ruining their day.

captainlezbian,

American crocodilians are chill

misophist,

Easy way to remember: an alligator’s snout is rounded like the C in Crocodile, and a crocodile’s snout is pointed like the A in Alligator.

HappySashimi,

This does not seem easy

GoodEye8,

If it looks like a Crocodile it’s an Alligator and if it looks like an Alligator it’s a Crocodile. Easy.

Art3sian,
@Art3sian@lemmy.world avatar

I tend to tell the difference by which one I will see later vs. which one I will see in a while.

LifeOfChance, in I bet Rockstar is thinking twice about *checks notes* making a normal looking female character.

I swear lemmy just feels like an Elon hate forum. I hate the guy too but 80% of the content is just about him

pancakes,
@pancakes@sh.itjust.works avatar

Maybe you’re in the wrong communities, i see one Elon post every 100 or so posts.

Shieldtoad,

Half of the posts I see are about awesome animals like cats, dogs, owls, bats, opossums and racoons.

jackalope,

I need more active animal communities. Please list your recs 🥺

FlihpFlorp, (edited )

Not the original commenter but check out superb owl

Idr the spelling of the community or what instance I just see it pop up in my all feed from time to time

Also the animal communities just named opossums and raccoons(I think)

Edit: a post from superb owl

Shieldtoad,
MindSkipperBro12,

I just see kraut posts half the time, the other half of NSFW “subreddits” that I have to block.

Crowfiend, (edited )

Low hanging fruit tempts more people, more easily. He’s just a really easy to hate, last decade it was Zuckerberg, this decade it’s Elon.

I just hope the next person to steal the spotlight is less insufferable.

abbadon420,

Its an easy target. Low effort, high reward. I have a colleague who is frantic about numerology and anti-vax stuff. It’s always a success to crack a joke about that.

PrinceWith999Enemies,

These kinds of posts always come off like when Trump complains that the people prosecuting him and judges are just anti-Trump.

DannyMac,
@DannyMac@lemmy.world avatar

He’s a con man and everyone needs to know it. There are still too many people who think he’s the best person on Earth.

Arcity,
@Arcity@feddit.nl avatar

Yes, but him whining about GTA isn’t exposing him as a con man

victorz,

You should find some communities you like. It’s not all 80% for me. Much, much lower.

Ardiente, in Crypto genius

Most sane crypto bro

PsychedSy,

I mean if I had gone to jail right after I bought any of my crypto I’d be doing better. Sadly, it makes more sense to pull the crypto than default.

I think I had less than a cent of bitcoin and managed to pull 20 later (almost all of it) then another 20 later. Huge percent profit.

SlopppyEngineer, in Every sign has a story
smeg,

Bean would make a hell of a QA

Armok_the_bunny, in Crypto genius

What country does anon live in, where prison food and housing is free?

unexposedhazard,

a country that has any reasonable human rights?? well unless you mean “free” in the general sense in that someone does have to pay for it even if not the prisoner…

DragonTypeWyvern,

(The shithole states charge prisoners for room and board)

Franzia,

WHAT

DragonTypeWyvern,

THE SHITHOLE STATES

CHARGE PRISONERS

FOR BEING IMPRISONED

Sorry I know sometimes you need to yell to be heard through the internet tubes

wreckedcarzz,
@wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world avatar

The internet is not

the internet, is not a big truck

itititit’s a series of TUBES

Franzia,

Oh, thank you.

HipsterTenZero,
@HipsterTenZero@dormi.zone avatar

What do they do if you dont pay? throw you in double prison?

lowleveldata, in Make sure you know what your kids are up to.

A respectful working mother

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