lemmyshitpost

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takeda, in Giddy up partner, we got to get this wagon train a-movin'!

Originally cowboy was a cattle herder that traditionally was horseback riding.

Mr_Blott, in Opposite of clickbait

MailOnline = We’re just making shit up now

paddirn, in Don't

Yea, but she got them thangs though

Napain, in How much for cuddles?

are the straights ok?

duckythescientist,

No we aren’t 😞

TseseJuer,

do gays not give bjs after a certain amount of gold stars?

Agent641, (edited )

How exactly do the gays transact for sex with their spouses? Like, do they pick one who will withold sex from the other until chores are done? Or do they swap roles monthly? How do they decide which one will be the begger and which one will grudgingly submit to their clumsy, sweaty defilement?

FlyingSquid,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

Yes.

afraid_of_zombies,

Yes this is outrage bate.

MaoZedongers,

hahaha

no

jaschen, in Opposite of clickbait

For those who want to read more about it, I did the work and found the article.

news.yahoo.com/woman-discovers-her-sons-bride-182…

A woman in eastern China had the shock of her life when she found out that her son was marrying her long-lost daughter. The reunion occurred right at the would-be spouses’ wedding in Suzhou, Jiangsu province on March 31, according to Sohu News. The shocking discovery was made after the woman noticed a birthmark on the bride’s hand, which looked strikingly similar to that of her long-lost child. Determined to uncover the truth, the woman mustered the courage to ask the bride’s parents whether she was adopted. After explaining her story and the identical birthmark, the bride’s parents eventually confirmed that their child had been adopted. Details were quickly ironed out and the bride confirmed that she was, indeed, the woman’s long-lost biological daughter. It turns out she went missing as a child and was picked up by her adoptive parents on the roadside some 20 years ago. The wedding could have been called off at this point, but the woman also revealed that her son — her now-daughter’s groom — was also adopted. The wedding proceeded as planned, but the shocking twist is one detour their guests will never forget. In photos that went viral on Chinese social media, the bride can be seen breaking down and hugging her long-lost mother tightly. It’s unknown how exactly the daughter went missing, but some are raising the possibility of human traffickers being the culprit. It’s also unclear whether the woman’s adopted son — now her son-in-law — will be searching for his own parents.

Ilovethebomb,

Mark my words, a movie will be made about this one day.

WarmSoda,

This has Hallmark all over it

Default_Defect,
@Default_Defect@midwest.social avatar

Nah, it’s not formulaic enough.

Vilian,

how if went missing because of traffickers, but was adopted at the roadside??

Shou,

Wonder if they wanted a son.

LemmyKnowsBest,

A trafficking reject 😢

bstix,

Road traffic works in mysterious ways.

lars,

It’s called a fucking zipper and the only time Americans plan for the future is when they find out their lane is ending so they merge as early as possible like savages.

jaybone,

You should merge as late as possible?

altima_neo,
@altima_neo@lemmy.zip avatar

That’s how zipper merge works

youtu.be/P96_FPMD9TA?si=uyy1rixz407bjIKk

MrBusiness,

In a civilized society maybe, but for the life of me I can’t figure out why city traffic assholes think sticking bumper to bumper and preventing mergers benefits them at all.

hungryphrog, in We do kind of suck...

That dude was definitely an alien in disguise.

ininewcrow, in Let's not mention that His dad was looking at your dick.
@ininewcrow@lemmy.ca avatar

Plot twist … Jesus is the father … of himself!

unreachable, in Opposite of clickbait
@unreachable@lemmy.world avatar

JAV title

ininewcrow, in What's wrong, babe? You've barely touched your Elmor's...
@ininewcrow@lemmy.ca avatar

Now with Vitamin R!

MeDuViNoX, in Well........
@MeDuViNoX@sh.itjust.works avatar

I’d double down and attempt to pierce another one through the back of the first.

TheDoozer, in Opposite of clickbait

That headline was a rollercoaster.

awwwyissss,

No exaggeration I need nap after reading that.

B1naryB0t, in Let's not mention that His dad was looking at your dick.

Back in his day a small dick was considered civilized and even divine. A large dick was considered brutish and barbaric.

lowleveldata,

TIL I’m born divine

seiryth, (edited )

Funny what happens when the small dicked get into positions of influence

MeDuViNoX, in Let's not mention that His dad was looking at your dick.
@MeDuViNoX@sh.itjust.works avatar

I can’t touch the bottom of a tuna can, but I can blow the sides out of it!

AnonWyo,

Why the hell ya sticking your dick in a tuna can?

MeDuViNoX,
@MeDuViNoX@sh.itjust.works avatar

It’s the only place that reminds me of her.

Ilovethebomb, in Opposite of clickbait

That’s a two hour movie condensed into one sentence.

Holyhandgrenade,
@Holyhandgrenade@lemmy.world avatar

Or 22 episodes of a soap opera

theedqueen,

It’s actually kinda the premise of this old Chinese drama from like the 90s. It’s called the Plum Blossom Birthmark. This woman gives birth to a girl but decides to give her up because the show takes place in old times and she felt her position was threatened because her husband had taken on a concubine so she decides to swap out her baby girl for a boy. She brands the girl with a plum blossom mark on her back so that she can maybe find her later. Years later the little girl and boy grow up and fall in love.

aeronmelon,

The families seriously need to auction off the movie rights, they’ve got it made now.

Fades, in How much for cuddles?

Speak to your partner adult to adult? Nahh, I’ll just treat my husband like another child!

I know it’s rage bait but this shit does happen and it’s cringe as hell

Smoogs,

Why is she also the therapist? He’s a grown adult and could take some initiative.

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