You wanna know why this dashboard takes a full minute to load? It’s because it joins every table in the fucking database because some people can’t be bothered to look at a separate page for certain information.
Because Jen in accounting doesn’t believe in it, and Tom the CIO likes his data stored raw in TXT Amphibious Delineated. Then our biggest client prefers data as Jason so we swapped half of our database to that to speed things up.
But the real problem is high turnover because we don’t pay anyone enough to work on things they are proud of. After 2 years we stop doing even 3% COL raises so they go elsewhere. So every 2-4 years each position gets a new opinionated asshole.
our biggest client prefers data as Jason so we swapped half of our database to that
the app I work with currently stores json as the only column in a sql table and it hurts me so very much. like watching someone pick up a screwdriver and try to bash a nail in with the handle.
My wife got prescribed Ambien a few weeks ago. She took one, completely forgot about it, and 45 minutes later had a glass of wine with me while watching Taskmaster.
She then became convinced that she was actually on the show and went around the house asking me to time her doing random stuff. Th next morning she had zero memory and was floored when I showed her the video.
One of the reasons I love WarGames is that it shows the hacker character actually doing his homework to figure out the correct credentials to get into the system.
Yeah, the “magic device” they discover that makes encryption obsolete is unrealistic, as is the way it “decrypts” what shows up on their screens. But, the rest of it is really realistic, down to probing individual leads of a chip to see what kinds of signals they emit.
I remember old YouTube having these kinds of exchanges. I would get DMs asking for a five star rating on a video they uploaded about some relevant topic in exchange for a likewise five star rating. I miss those days
I mean, I’ve never used JSONs before but I imagine you could still write to them in realtime at least, as inefficient as that sounds lol. So you could probably get the same results on an actual text editor if you could modify it to update the text automatically when it detects a change instead of prompting the user
I was once like “🤨… what drugs was I on when I wrote this 🤨”. Comments didn’t help, I must’ve been under the influence of something, it didn’t make any sense.
programmer_humor
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