I need to survive for 3 days without pooping, and eating as little as possible. I can pee, but not very often. It can't take up too much space. What food do I pack?

Please don't ask why I need this.

It would be great if the food also made me sweat less.

It has to be something I can easily find.

EDITS FOR CLARIFICATION:

  • I am not planning on partaking in any illegal activities.
  • I do not condone the use of illegal substances and am not planning on smuggling anything anywhere.
  • I am not going on a hiking trip or mailing myself anywhere.
  • I will be staying in a tent (not a small one; a huge with with air conditioning and everything). I will be traveling for five days, returning to my current location on day 3 and traveling again on the last two days. I will not poop on the first three days (hopefully).
  • Clean toilets with all the expected facilities will be available to me. I am not going to poop for reasons that I wish to keep to myself.
  • If it gets bad, like really bad, like a-piece-of-poop-is-literally-halfway-out-my-ass bad, I will use the toilets.

Please stop asking because I am not telling anyone the reason.

Kurt,
@Kurt@lemmy.one avatar

I haven't seen any comments suggesting a plug, so I guess it'll be me. Try using a butt plug.

highduc,

You said if we guess you’d confirm so here’s my attempt.

Are you participating in like one of those TV competitions? Will you be filmed if you poop and that’s why you’d rather not?

Aurix,

This has to be a kink thing, one of the weirder ones. Holding a plug, not sweating, because it is not wished?

Else it is something illegal. Drug mule, crossing a border which would either make the drugs visible, or maybe another crime to not leave obvious DNA traces. No sweating to not look suspicious on control? Not much stuff to disguise the longer travel?

FrankTheHealer,

I’m leaning towards drug smuggling

No pooping so they don’t expel the drug packets that they have ingested. No sweating so they dont seem nervous. And less peeinhg since will be travelling, on planes, cars etc

mizu6079,
@mizu6079@lemmy.world avatar

No kinky stuff involved.

No drugs involved.

No breaking-the-law-in-any-other-way involved.

magiccupcake,

I don't believe you.

RickRussell_CA,
@RickRussell_CA@lemmy.world avatar

It's about preparation. Approximate gut motility for a healthy adult on a light diet is about 48-60 hours. So, stop eating 3 days before you leave, poop out all you possibly can before your 3 day period starts. Drink about 500ml water per day in the days leading up to the 3 day period. It wouldn't hurt to prep with a mild laxative to remove as much gut content as possible.

Once the timer starts, start eating small amounts only after the first day. For water, about 500ml per day. The good news is that what you pee out can't take much more space than the fresh water you drink.

This assumes you are relatively sedentary. If you perform manual labor during the 3 day period, you'll need to increase water intake, and possibly food intake, to avoid exhaustion.

mizu6079,
@mizu6079@lemmy.world avatar

Thanks! I have exactly 3 days left so I'll get started right now.

paddythegeek,

I’d you can eat meat, beef jerky. Generally any high protein, low carb diet will be low output. Not sure about the sweating though.

TheMightyCanuck,
@TheMightyCanuck@sh.itjust.works avatar

Meat sweats lmao

mizu6079,
@mizu6079@lemmy.world avatar

Thanks a lot. It should be easy to find food like that where I'm going.

SirShanova,

At a guess, are you going to Philmont? Pack in, pack out your human waste?

Raion1337,

I was here lmao. Starting to love lemmy

ZcaT,
@ZcaT@lemmy.world avatar

Lemmy history!

artaban,

please stop talking about how this post is going to be on lectures 10 years later and help this guy, he NEED help lmao

danc4498,

Why do you need this?

mizu6079,
@mizu6079@lemmy.world avatar

I'm sorry but i really can't say that here

withdrawn,

Just stay away from expensive submersible trips.

jzefbeio54,

underrated comment

denemdenem,

As far as I know the last one went to shit real fast.

assa123,
@assa123@lemmy.world avatar

keep safe, I really hope you're not being used as a drug mule (or forcing someone to be one).

NewNewAccount,

Dude’s going to jail and has poop anxiety.

bernieecclestoned,

Can you take a packed lunch to jail?

It's no picnic! Lol

lunarshot,
@lunarshot@lemmy.world avatar

bro, did Jurassic Park teach us nothing? when you gotta go, you gotta go!

KeefChief12,

Just tell us the reason.

dnzm,
@dnzm@lemmy.ml avatar

You’re going to end up needing a knife…

potato_pizzareca,
@potato_pizzareca@lemmy.world avatar

The type of shit (or lack thereof) that I came here to subscribe.

alexthesunking,

Honestly, If u dont want to poop and eat as little as possible i would consider fasting. If zero food is too intimidating - pack some nuts.

snek_boi,

lol this is hilarious, and I also hope you’re okay, OP!

Now, some say this is the first Lemmy meme. I’m not sure that’s the case, for what it’s worth. However, it does feel exciting to see a meta moment like this! So absurd! 😂

Plasma,
@Plasma@lemmy.ml avatar
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