lemmyshitpost

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ThorAlex, in Bonjour, je m'appelle Jesus

I get a strong sense there is a secret tunnel full of antiques behind that wall…?

harmsy,

Seeeeecret tuuuunneeellll! Seeeeecret tunnneeeeeellllll!

pewpew, in We made it guys
@pewpew@feddit.it avatar

I get timezones… But more than 24 hours ahead?!

tourist, (edited )
@tourist@lemmy.world avatar

As of right now, UTC+14 is sunday 12 noon I.e. 12 hours until 2024 at the earliest

I’m guessing OP popped the champagne a lil early and thought December 30th was the last day of the year

edit: oops no they were going silly mode :3

ObviouslyNotBanana,
@ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world avatar

Dang it OP you silly goose

WhiskyTangoFoxtrot, in Bonjour, je m'appelle Jesus

Je suis un ananas.

Elderos,

NoOn, ceux naille pas pawssible.

Bizarroland, in Aliens decide to communicate with us
@Bizarroland@kbin.social avatar

Not bad. Couple of you fucks would be ackacked into non-existence but 99.997% of you would be alright.

Pyroglyph,
@Pyroglyph@lemmy.world avatar

You make it sound like you have a fervent hatred for ~250,000 people.

I’m intrigued…

Voyajer,
@Voyajer@lemmy.world avatar

Dude must have a grudge against Samoa or something. That or he wants to distribute some wealth and zap all the billionaires and anyone close to being one.

I_Fart_Glitter,

That would be 99.999967%, not 99.997.

There about 8,019,876,189 people in the world, 2640 of whom are billionaires, or about 0.000033%

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_World's_Billionaires

2023: In the 37th annual Forbes list of the world’s billionaires, the list included 2,640 billionaires with a total net wealth of $12.2 trillion, down 28 members and $500 billion from 2022. Over half of the list is less wealthy compared to the previous year, including Elon Musk, who fell from No. 1 to No. 2.[2] The list also marks for the first time a French citizen was in the top position as well as a non-American for the first time since 2013 when the Mexican Carlos Slim Helu was the world’s richest person. The list, like in 2022, counted 15 under 30 billionaires with the richest of them being Red Bull heir Mark Mateschitz with a net worth of $34.7 billion. The youngest of the lot were Clemente Del Vecchio, heir to the Luxottica fortune shared with his six siblings and stepmother, and Kim Jung-yang, whose fortune lies in Japanese-South Korean gaming giant Nexon, both under-20s.[10]

Bizarroland,
@Bizarroland@kbin.social avatar

Don't act like the quality of humanity couldn't be dramatically improved by eliminating the 250,000 worst of us.

Rapists, murderers, evil billionaires, corrupt politicians, shitty bosses, manipulative assholes and general dickheads of all races, creed, and gender, honestly 250,000 may not be enough but it would be a good start.

cashews_best_nut, in Beef Liners

This makes me feel sick

balderdash9,

Welcome to shitposting lmao

EdibleFriend,
@EdibleFriend@lemmy.world avatar

Like when you eat too much?

Encinos,

How do I delete someone else’s comment and their username?

EdibleFriend,
@EdibleFriend@lemmy.world avatar

I wish I could tag people like on RES so I would remember to remind you about this every time I see you.

KpntAutismus, in Always look on the bright side of life

this is actually my plan (minus the sex 3 times a day of course) for later in my life, ideally without the going to prison part.

WoahWoah, (edited )

Your “plan” is to not live with your parents, read books, and workout? Feel free to get started, boss.

KpntAutismus,

my plan ist to live a happy and healthy life. living with my parents and going to work hinders me from doing exactly that. i might have the opprtunity to not have to work, so i will gladly do that.

feel free to continue living your hateful life. but i won’t. i want to change.

WoahWoah,

Hateful life? I was encouraging you to start living a happy and healthful life instead of calling it a “plan.” Relax. That might help you on that whole “happy” part.

KpntAutismus,

then i must have read it wrong, sorry. people are generally not taking someone else being optimistic very well, so i assumed you were attacking me for it.

WoahWoah,

No problem. I was basically just saying “hey you can do most of those things right now, go for it.”

HootinNHollerin, in How to keep a man

Might we consider what quality of man? Picked up at the Walmart

cryostars,

Behind the Walmart dumpster*

HootinNHollerin,

Ah it’s Artemis from it’s always sunny! She does like to incorporate buns into lovemaking while in the dumpster

runswithjedi, in The plot thickens

I find the book thins as I read it more, but starts to thicken when I’m more than halfway through.

ironhydroxide,

Nah, that’s just the plot.

GrammatonCleric, in Why is this so hard
@GrammatonCleric@lemmy.world avatar

deleted_by_author

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  • ma11en,

    You’d think that!

    LinkOpensChest_wav,

    My hands are too dry for this to be effective

    GrammatonCleric,
    @GrammatonCleric@lemmy.world avatar

    deleted_by_author

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  • LinkOpensChest_wav, (edited )

    You must be shrooming. There’s a reason people moisten their fingers when working with stuff like this.

    Edit: Perhaps you live on a planet where physics works differently, but I’m talking about Earth which, not to dox myself, but I live there.

    GrammatonCleric,
    @GrammatonCleric@lemmy.world avatar

    deleted_by_author

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  • LinkOpensChest_wav,

    I would encourage you to read and understand things before behaving like an unpleasant and haughty know-it-all

    You didn’t even click my link because if you read it, then you’d have to admit that you’ve been embarrassingly wrong this entire time, starting with that eye-rolling emoji. That’s really hard for you, isn’t it – to admit that you’re wrong.

    ElBarto,
    @ElBarto@sh.itjust.works avatar

    Hey now, who said you could live on my planet?

    ApathyTree,
    @ApathyTree@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

    I can hear your username. Well done.

    Oderus, (edited )

    I touch the moist sprayers to wet my fingers enough and the opening of the bag is always the part that’s already detached.

    Those two tips help.

    agamemnonymous,
    @agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works avatar

    Clap the whole bag between your hands and rub them together like a scheming villain

    SonicBlue03, in Why is this so hard

    I’ll try for five minutes and find out it opens on the other end.

    ininewcrow, (edited )
    @ininewcrow@lemmy.ca avatar

    The best days are when you successfully open one … and realize it wasn’t sealed at the bottom either

    LinkOpensChest_wav,

    I do this with dog poop bags, it’s so frustrating!

    MudMan,
    @MudMan@kbin.social avatar

    I use ones that are explicitly labelled with a black strip. My tactic for opening them is to put them between my lips and blow, which works pretty well but got really weird during the mandatory masking periods.

    jtk, in Headlines be like
    @jtk@lemmy.sdf.org avatar

    Have they tried marketing discolored green ones as “Avocado Diamonds”?

    Darken,
    @Darken@reddthat.com avatar

    It’s not a bug it’s a feature

    bcron, in Must be a pissing contest in there

    It’s the 16th annual Larry Craig foot tapping invitational, hosted every year in a bathroom at MSP’s Humphrey terminal

    AFC1886VCC,

    Leave your wide stance at home!

    ULS, in Beef Liners

    Why would you go with that brand when there’s Jack Links?

    CodexArcanum,

    Not everyone can afford luxury when they’ve got heavy monthly flow.

    ULS,

    🤮

    myster0n,

    You don’t like teriyaki?

    ChicoSuave,

    Oberto is beefy luxury. Soft and absorbent.

    ULS,

    Yeah… Maybe if you remove the silica packet…

    ininewcrow,
    @ininewcrow@lemmy.ca avatar

    It wasn’t as salty

    solidgrue, in have you been doing crime?
    @solidgrue@lemmy.world avatar

    I need this on a pressed tin sign. Like 12x16" or 18x24".

    rmuk,

    No you Don’t.

    SkySyrup, (edited ) in The human sized thumb is getting angry.

    but it yummy

    also expensive as fuck wtf the last time I had it it was like 12 bucks never again

    Fixbeat,

    Avocados 🥑 are pricey…but you need to eat the toast to keep up your cred.

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