lemmyshitpost

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jabathekek, in This fish have hats e lol
@jabathekek@sopuli.xyz avatar

The drippiest fish in all creation.

PP_BOY_,
@PP_BOY_@lemmy.world avatar

Glug glug muddafukka!!

owenfromcanada,
@owenfromcanada@lemmy.world avatar

If fish are always in water, do they have that drip? 🤔

Fades, in How much for cuddles?

Speak to your partner adult to adult? Nahh, I’ll just treat my husband like another child!

I know it’s rage bait but this shit does happen and it’s cringe as hell

Smoogs,

Why is she also the therapist? He’s a grown adult and could take some initiative.

Macaroni_ninja, (edited ) in How much for cuddles?
@Macaroni_ninja@lemmy.world avatar

It’s fake, Its a crooked depiction of a toxic relationship which is fucked up, I know, but why would a guy need to be reminded to clean up, or care for their children?

I see everyone is quick to jump on the domestic abuse hate train, but if you are a guy and not doing these things in a relationship you are just as fucked up as this imaginary psycho partner.

Smoogs, (edited )

At first I was thinking they were making fun of people who go to the ‘she’s a nag’ absurdity(it is in shitPost ). Sadly some misogynists got triggered in here.

Szymon, in Ummm...

My goodness, I hope that woman finds the help she needs in her life.

ryan213,
@ryan213@lemmy.ca avatar

Because of her weight or what she’s saying? Or both?

Szymon, (edited )

There’s likely some deep rooted trauma there which would be beneficial to have some professional guidance to uncover and address through rational eyes. Our brains will create defence mechanisms to protect itself from perceived harm, but the mechanism may not be a healthy one. A professional can help sus out areas of concern for you and give you new tools for dealing with those emotions.

Her unhealthy choices concerning social behavior and eating habits are likely symptoms of a deeper issue.

bullshitter, (edited )

Thanks once again kind stranger. You helped me not get angry at those bitches while also showing me the way to deal with mental problems.

Although I should have known better to give importance to a shitpost.

Szymon, (edited )

Shitpost or not, there’s often an opportunity to reflect and learn. Best of luck my friend

0x4E4F,

I hope so as well… that wasn’t even funny…

Patrizsche,

Oh so you posted for its educational value?

0x4E4F,

Yeah, kinda…

RoseRose56, (edited ) in How much for cuddles?
@RoseRose56@lemmy.world avatar

Where I can find womens like her? asking for a friend!

afraid_of_zombies,

Anywhere. Now keeping that relationship going will be the tricky part. Think of it cynically. If the only thing you are doing for her is giving her money and adding to the workload she can get your money and not have to work for you by getting divorced. Who doesn’t want to do less work for the same amount of money? She won’t have a relationship with you she will have it with your bank account.

In general I try to be sympathetic to new parents. I was terrified to watch my first born when she was born. Everything else I could help with but I kept worrying that something would happen if I watched our baby alone. It took time, and I built confidence. Then mom was able to run errands or have fun for a few hours. The thing is I wanted to improve.

ininewcrow, in Might hurt, but it's worth a shot
@ininewcrow@lemmy.ca avatar

That looks like the anti-rape device they built for women in South Africa

RizzRustbolt,

But now it’s an anti-popcorn device.

gmtom, in Opposite of clickbait

Now this is a man that knows how to marry his sister.

CptEnder,

Roll Tai

AutistoMephisto,
@AutistoMephisto@lemmy.world avatar

Roll Thai?

CoffeeJunkie, (edited )

A slightly humorous play on ‘Roll Tide’, which is what someone sarcastically comments when someone fucks their family members/incest.

…this is literally just a definition, which is what was requested, you’re welcome. 🤨🙄

Sigh_Bafanada,

Classic Garret

postmateDumbass,

Some family trees look like oak trees, others douglas firs.

Varyk, in look within

What’s the source?

gibmiser,
superduperenigma, in How much for cuddles?

Sure, she may have infantalized him to an embarrassing degree, but at least she posted it online so the entire world can see how unhealthy their marriage is and how transactional their sex live is.

0x4E4F,
@0x4E4F@sh.itjust.works avatar

Excuse me, but, she made it transactional.

TseseJuer,

no shit, are you illiterate?

0x4E4F, (edited )
@0x4E4F@sh.itjust.works avatar

Look at the chart, she made it… I don’t understand where the confusion is…

TseseJuer,

this has already been proven to be a joke post

can,

online so the entire world can see how unhealthy their marriage

Not to mention their fucking child. Hopefully “daddy” is just a nickname.

StarPupil,

Unless the throw up he’s cleaning and blown out diaper he’s changing are hers, probably not. Also “rugrats” he bathed.

can,

Well damn

datelmd5sum, in For context, texas is a state roughly the size of texas

Hoe many cubic football fields is a corgi?

dankm,

That’s difficult to imagine, a cubic football field would exist in six demensional space.

datelmd5sum,

How many dimensions does a corgi exist in?

WhiskyTangoFoxtrot,

All of them.

wafflez, in Rat snacks

he was french though

RagingRobot,

Gross. I hear they eat snails

Hereforpron2,

I hear they eat food cooked by rats

BeefPiano, in How much for cuddles?

“Get out of the dog house card” isn’t going to work the way either of them think. Pulling that card when you’re in the doghouse is not going to make her fine with whatever upset her. There’s a good chance she’ll say she’s “fine” because she doesn’t want to renege on her chart, but whatever conflict isn’t going to resolve itself because he gave her that card.

Trading sex for chores is gross. I don’t want a BJ or lap-dance from a partner that is only doing it because the sticker chart says she has to.

It’s also insane that things like washing dishes or packing lunches or changing diapers aren’t part of the baseline expectations for a dad. You don’t get an award for doing the bare minimum!

Both of these people are demonstrating the emotional intelligence of a block of cheese.

Kolanaki,
@Kolanaki@yiffit.net avatar

I guess I’m just kinky, because the idea of chores for sex sounds pretty awesome to me.

0x4E4F, (edited )
@0x4E4F@sh.itjust.works avatar

It sound good till you actually experience that and realize how degrading it is.

Look, I’m a male and I completely get the “I’m horny all the time” aspect of males, but… if she did this, that’s a complete downer for me. Mind you, I love sex, I would have it a few times a day if I could.

Rolando,

I think that the key is to have a “safe word”.

Buddahriffic,

Does she want sex or does she want chores done? Because if it’s just the latter, then I wouldn’t really want sex either.

If you’re ever handed a chore chart and it’s not part of a kink, then assume your relationship is in serious trouble.

0x4E4F,
@0x4E4F@sh.itjust.works avatar

I was thinking more in terms of the latter. If it’s part of a kink, sure.

Kusimulkku,

It sound good till you actually experience that and realize how degrading it is.

Some are into that

Signtist,

It depends on how seriously it’s followed. My wife will often say something along the lines of “if you make dinner I’ll let you feel me up,” but it’s with the mutual understanding that she knows I’d make her dinner because she asked regardless of the reward, and I know she wouldn’t offer it if she wasn’t happy to give it - she just wants to make sure we have dinner first.

This chart’s a bit too far, though, since it’s a more long-term commitment that doesn’t factor in everyone’s feelings at the time that the rewards come due, but I could see that being circumvented in the event that a “rain check” could be called if someone’s not feeling it at that moment.

ch00f,
dditty,

I was in a relationship with a controlling partner who made something very similar to this back in ~2016. I can’t remember exactly what was on it, but there was definitely a sexual favor reward for some amount of chores (it was like I had to give her X hour-long full body massages or smth) 💀

GrayBackgroundMusic,

true mvp

funkless_eck,

🎵 the lap dance is better when the stripper has stiiickers 🎵

figjam,

I mean, yeah. I love stickers!

Geobloke,

Said her name was Bambi

Buddahriffic,

Had about as much teeth as a jack-o’-lantern.

Classy,

I was gonna say, the way I care for our kid, if we had done this chart I wouldn’t have had time to do anything but get continuous blow jobs and lap dances!

SpaceNoodle,

Don’t slander cheese like that.

jopepa,

Imagine the French and Italian retaliation if they had said wheel of cheese.

Kecessa,

I’m kind of disturbed by the fact that they call it “being in the dog house”… Is it a common expression in English?

papalonian,

Someone else answered but yes it’s a boomer expression. Basically to mean you’re in trouble with your spouse. (They aren’t letting you in their bed so you go to sleep with your dog in the dog house.)

WhiteOakBayou,

Yes, I’ve never heard a real person use it but I’ve heard it on TV enough to know what it means. I think it’s a boomer expression.

JackbyDev,

Trading sex for chores is gross.

Don’t kink shame.

chetradley,

It’s also insane that things like washing dishes or packing lunches or changing diapers aren’t part of the baseline expectations for a dad.

This is the one that gets me the most. Like, I do the majority of a lot of these things in addition to taking my kid to daycare, doing almost all of the cooking, etc. I do it because I want to help my family, not because I’m saving up for a toothy blowjob.

0x4E4F,
@0x4E4F@sh.itjust.works avatar

I do all that, and yet, it’s still not enough… always expected to do more and nagged about not doing enough.

chetradley,

Sounds like you need to put the toilet seat down more lol

0x4E4F,
@0x4E4F@sh.itjust.works avatar

It’s always down.

kryptonianCodeMonkey, in Opposite of clickbait

If they ever get divorced, family dinner night is gonna be real awkward.

BirdyBoogleBop,

Her: can you pass the potatoes?

Him: Oh! You taking the potatoes as well as the house huh?!

rustbuckett, in 🎵that's life🎵

Then I suppose school really is preparing you for life. All this time I thought they were just teaching to the test.

jenny_ball,
@jenny_ball@lemmy.world avatar

yea. regular life is this x100 more intense

rustbuckett,

Plus rent (or a mortgage).

Mr_Bungle, in Breaking AT fields!

Is this a goatse?

mikel,

It’s a subtle hint at it yes

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