Well, talking like this keeps the phone from radiating into the head from zero distance and angling it in this way puts your mouth closer to the microphone, so if it’s over, I say, "Don’t let the door hit you on the way out. "
Neither of those things provide a measurable or meaningful improvement to anything. The phone is designed to be directly against one’s head within allowable safe levels of radiation. And the microphone/audio processing is designed to pickup sound from the standard phone position.
We are the only superpredator known to exist. Our best friends are apex predators we allow to live in our homes and treat like children, and we are sufficiently skilled at predation that we have allowed them to give up hunting for survival.
We accidentally killed enough of the biomass on the planet that we are now in the Anthropocene era, an era of earths history that marks post-humanity in geological terms. We are an extinction event significant enough that we will be measurable in millions of years even if we all died tomorrow.
We are the only creature known that engages in group play fighting. Other animals play fight, but not in teams. This allowed us to develop tactics, strategy, and so on, and was instrumental in hunting and eventually war.
We are sufficiently deadly that in order for something to pose a credible threat to us, we have to make it up and give it powers that don’t exist in reality. And even then, most of the time, we still win.
“Superpredator” is not a scientific term. It was used as an “overconsumer” in one publication, as far as I can find, but that meaning doesn’t fit the narrative of your copypasta.
And we definitely don’t maintain domestication of other predators through our predatory ability. On the contrary, domestication and cultivation of other species is what allows us to domesticate carnivores.
We are omnivorous vindictive social apes. Don’t take that description lightly.
We also have two real superpowers:
We’re the only animal on the planet that can scale stable social groups into millions while being individually complex. Some glitch of ours broke cranial limitations of the group size that other primates adhere to.
We are the only animal to have developed languages with complex grammars. While other animals can exhibit complex signaling systems, and possibly learn grammars we develop, we effortlessly develop and learn grammars that allow us to express novel thoughts without waiting for evolution. Hell, our children develop throwaway languages as a side-effect of playing with each other.
Everything else is a consequence.
PS: Blue-green algae would like a word about that “extinction event” claim. PPS: Leave hydrogen unattended for long enough, and it will start arguing on the internet.
We are omnivorous vindictive social apes. Don’t take that description lightly.
That could also easily describe Chimpanzees. I realize they are one of our closest cousins, but still. The vindictive part especially. Those guys will literally tear your face and limbs off.
Chimps are our closest (living) relatives. We both evolved in central/east Africa, while orangutans live in Southeast Asia. Also, chimps are actually two species - the large, aggressive common chimpanzee and the smaller, much less aggressive pygmy chimpanzee. Humans and chimps together form the group Hominini.
We are sufficiently deadly that in order for something to pose a credible threat to us, we have to make it up and give it powers that don’t exist in reality. And even then, most of the time, we still win.
This is false. We already pose a very real, credible threat to us.
Get harpooned. They exist only because we allow them to exist.
I hope they learn to sink cargo ships, supertankers, and yachts with kamikaze attacks; only allowing passage for middle class pleasure vessels should their entire pod be sufficiently fed as tribute.
Unless they can somehow tow large pieces of rock or ice into the paths of cargo ships and supertankers, there’s no way they’ll manage to sink those fuckers.
i am confident that if orcas took to land they would recognize that a few psychopaths are responsible and that most people just want to watch orcas jump out of the water and have fun
They also are the only apex predator that refuses to eat us. Orca overall will eat anything, but each individual orca pod has their own unique diet. This means that if a polar bear is found by the “wrong orcas,” (from the polar bear’s perspective) the polar bear gets eaten. Yup that’s right. The largest and deadliest land predator is prey for orcas. That being said, if an injured seal is near the “right orcas,” since seal isn’t on their menu, they’ll either totally ignore the seal, or maybe bump it towards the shore. Humans are off their menus, and we don’t know why. The last recorded Orca attack in the wild happened in the late 1800s and if the records are to be believed, the human in question was doing everything they could to piss off that orca. The orca in question bit the human, tasted what it had bitten, and immediately let go. The human got a gnarly scar, but kept his arm. (This doesn’t apply to Orcas in captivity that we gave massive psychological trauma to.)
My theory is that around 200,000 to 250,000 years ago, just as we were getting started as a species, an orca decided to kill a sick, injured, and or young human, and the response that we gave them terrified the orcas that saw it so much that they told all the other orca that you don’t eat the hairless apes. They will kill everyone that tries.
Maybe we just taste bad? Other predators like tigers and leopards also usually don’t eat humans unless they are injured and can’t chase any other prey.
The USA government considers marriage a tax and law advantage. Thats all it is. A mutually agreed upon union to gain a capital advantage. Don’t blow your savings to play dress up and get your family drunk. Don’t throw a party for everyone.
Marry the one you love for the $35 marriage license and be done with it. You still end up being married, with tax benefits. Yes you won’t have the memories of stressing yourself out just to go through with it, but you will still have your money, and a better chance at having a good life with your piece of shit spouse that only works to spend your remaining time and money driving you into the ground until you get the courage after 4 years to stand up and divorce them. Luckily for you, you saved a bunch of money to pay your lawyer.
I just looked it up and it was actually $40. All in all mine cost around $80 including a couple cheap rings from Walmart and gas.
Now that I’m thinking about it, I hope we paid the notary since she stayed after work in city hall. She was a sweet lady. Since my wife and I just wanted to be done with it, she asked if we had any words and when we both said no she asked if she could and said a few sweet things and started crying when we said “I do”.
I’m not divorced. I just like writing satire surrounding my personal opinions. Also, I personally stop every wedding I can. I want my wife and I to be the only married couple on earth.
My wedding was my wife and I going to the courthouse on pi day, promising we weren’t related, signing the marriage document, then having a pizza pie for dinner and apple pie for dessert, total cost ~$85 (including $30 marriage license).
A couple months later we went to Hawaii for a week and a half with both of our parents and my wifes best friend. Landed and spent a day puttering around since we were all tired, next day we had a ceremony on a gorgeous little beach (millionaires housing community beach, still public access like all beaches but hard to find and not much parking by design) officiated by my dad, had pictures taken by a photographer who also got the permit flowers etc, and spent the remaining 8 days honeymooning/vacationing. Our parents paid for the condo we stayed at as their wedding present ($1500 of $4500 would’ve been our share) and paid for most of the food while we were there. Total cost was $900 for a photographer (worth they were great and definitely worth it), $500 for plane tickets since we got them early and went in early May when the islands aren’t too busy, figure $300 in food and activities that we did without our parents . Wife’s dress was $600 including alterations.
Total cost ended up being under $2500 paid over 6 months or so. We got married, had pictures, and a week and a half vacation and honeymoon in Hawaii for less than most people pay for a random venue for 8 hours in the off season.
YES! Fucking Christ! Someone else shares my opinion on this issue! Weddings as they’re done in the US are so stupid and expensive! Wedding rings are also stupid.
I’m all for the continued symbolism of marriage so rings are cool in my book. It’s still a serious commitment. The jewelery business however is a glittering turd with blood embroidery.
I bought placeholder rings from Walmart for maybe $20 -$30.
I upgraded to a much nicer $10 tungsten ring from Amazon.
I upgraded my wife’s band and engagement ring to a handmade 14k Gold and moisanite combo from Etsy that was somehow cheaper than if I had made the rings myself. Must have some good connections, idk.
Either way, do your marriage how you want. Symbolize it how you want. I just want 8% of your gross income afterwards. It’s only fair. I mean I just basically saved you twice that amount.
Not sure if it convinces anyone but my reason is that I start becoming conscious of my ears being squished on the smartphone surface and it starts paining 2 mins later. Slightly lifting the phone up makes the audio worse. So I put it on speaker and do this if I can’t find a headphone or earphones.
I do this when I’m on the phone and alone. Or I set my phone on my tits. But only when I am isolated. I don’t want to bother people with my phone on speaker.
Been reading the Deathworlders book(s). Basically a FOSS series of novels. Sounds like it would devolve into bad fan fiction. 1,500 pages in and I’m still diggin’ it.
Humans come from a “level 12” planet. Sapience isn’t thought able to evolve on a level 10, too dangerous. Too serious on every front; Gravity, weather, temperature extremes, microorganisms, parasites, predators, radiation exposure, all that.
First chapter is a human on a space station trying to get processed through emigration when the baddest-ass aliens of all lock on and board. He beats one to death with its own arm. Basically like a chimp in a preschool of giant, soft children.
Gets hilarious when the same guy is finally back home bartending and, as Earth watches in awe, those same aliens invade a Canadian hockey game.
it means the story is published under a license that allows you to redistribute and modify the text, the only limitation is that you can’t make a profit.
the specific license used is Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0
If this is a serious question it’s most likely a group writing collaboration of some kind, playing off the idea of the the way free and open source software is a collaborate effort.
I won’t spoil anything for you, but there are at least 3 other books that are not only set in the Jenkinsverse, they all took place mostly between chapters 2 and 3. Also they were written by three other authors, not Hambone
Salvage is canon up to chapter 70 something. You’ll know you left canon when Adrian Saunders starts messing around with a black hole
The Adventures of Xiu Chang. The entire story is canon
Humans Don’t Make Good Pets. While this is canon, it’s a frustrating one as it’s not finished at all, and the character has a lot of potential.
Also you neglected to mention that “Purveyor Kevin Jenkins” is a normal out of shape bartender.
That’s like The Damned series by Alan Dean Foster.
Basically alien societies naturally formed without the type of infighting and barbarism humans started with, so the entire idea of war to them was extremely foreign and uncomfortable until they were attacked. They formed an alliance to push back the empire trying to conquer them, but they lacked the will or martial ingenuity to really hold the empire back. Then they come across humans, and the first (random) human they come across accidentally severely injures their ambassador. So they offer humans heaps of technology and resources for soldiers. They don’t offer membership (because we’re absolute nightmares) if I remember correctly, but Earth is fine with that. People volunteer in droves to see the galaxy and fight in wars where they are so overpowered it feels like they put in a cheat code.
The series is about… well, what happens to our society when our main export is unstoppable death and destruction. Hence “The Damned.”
The Undying Mercenaries series by B.V. Larson is kind pf similar. Humanity is basically given the choice to be useful to the galactic empire (forgot what it’s called in this series exactly) and the only useful export product we can offer are soldiers. The minds of the soldiers are backed up before going into battle and can be put in a cloned body, hence undying mercenaries.
memes
Hot
This magazine is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.