lemmyshitpost

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MyFairJulia, in I'm Sonic, I hate cops
@MyFairJulia@lemmy.world avatar

Don‘t forget your Miranda rights, because the cops will do and they won‘t get consequences for this at all.

Sylver, (edited )

And then you might still get arrested for “impeding an investigation” and “failure to comply” even though your constitutional rights allow said non-compliance.

Then you get fired because you had to sit in jail until the charges are dropped, and suddenly your foodstamps agent audits you so you lose a week of access to food on top of it all!

TurnItOff_OnAgain, in It's finally over.

Wait! He isn’t dead (Shia surprise)

There’s a gun to your head and death in his eyes

Bishma,
@Bishma@discuss.tchncs.de avatar

But you can do Jiu Jitsu

catbaba, in How did we ever eat before social media?

“Everybody look at this guy’s cake”

afraid_of_zombies,

The cake is a lie.

caseyweederman,

I also choose this guy’s cake wife

OrderedChaos, in doing his own research

Fun. I kind of wish this was the world tree.

Track_Shovel,
@Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net avatar

laughs in Laman’s Folly

TseseJuer,

that’s at the north pole. check out what Black Rock really is

OneWomanCreamTeam, in doing his own research

They got two things right: Science can be wrong sometimes. And you should Google petrified wood (it’s really pretty).

MajesticSloth,
@MajesticSloth@lemmy.world avatar

I did, and it is.

Klear,

I’m getting xkcd vibes from this comment.

MaxVoltage,
@MaxVoltage@lemmy.world avatar

This is not where i parked my boat

db2, in Someone been stealing ideas
MrGerrit,
afraid_of_zombies,
MrGerrit,

Little Timmy could be a dumbass sometimes though. Lassie had to get help to rescue him for falling in the well again for the umpth time

Excrubulent, (edited ) in It's finally over.
@Excrubulent@slrpnk.net avatar

Did you kill them with a plunger?

Snowpix,
@Snowpix@lemmy.ca avatar

Oh, this is getting real!

explodicle,

It’s the lever he had been forced to operate all those times.

Excrubulent,
@Excrubulent@slrpnk.net avatar

Oh I see it now. I’m obviously not up on my trolley problem lore.

root_beer, in Northern star gang

Oh god I don’t know man I’d be jonesin’ for some ‘pass if I stop using it for too long

Totally worth losing out on that $250 million not go into withdrawal

kogasa,
@kogasa@programming.dev avatar

'pass

Pronounced “piss”

root_beer,

Amen brrrrother

gravitas_deficiency, in Humans Against Shitting

Well how do you feel about shtanding, then?

Bleach7297, (edited )
@Bleach7297@lemmy.ca avatar

Shay, doesh anyone know when Sean Connery will be showing up to Wimbledon?

Bleach7297,
@Bleach7297@lemmy.ca avatar

Anyone? No?

Tennish. 🥸

glitch1985, in doing his own research

Imagine the size of that chainsaw!

IndiBrony,
@IndiBrony@lemmy.world avatar

I do love these conspiracies because of how they evolve over time. I’m waiting for one of them to start talking about how the ancient human giants had giant iPads that they used to order the giant chainsaws.

Donkter,

We have documented accounts of Paul Bunyan!

BananaPeal, (edited ) in NASA has some explaining to do
@BananaPeal@sh.itjust.works avatar

This is the right amount of crazy that I’m not sure if it’s honest or parody for this country.

Also: Jesus gets my prayers because he’s in my heart, checkmate atheists.

Sabata11792, (edited )
@Sabata11792@kbin.social avatar

This is the right amount of crazy to accidentally become real.

metaStatic,
AnonWyo,

Your cardiologist would like a word about having a 2,000 year old corpse in your heart.

jaybone,

But the body of Christ is bread.

AnonWyo,

Good. Christ can keep me hydrated.

Carbohydrated.

jaybone,

I’m not sure that’s how carbonation works.

But his blood will make you dehydrated.

CanadianCarl,

Which country?

BananaPeal,
@BananaPeal@sh.itjust.works avatar

The gun and Christian fundamentalist one.

AnonWyo,

MAGA. We put the Fun in “fundamental.”

CareHare,

It sounds horrifying if you put it like that. ):

Lifebandit666,

That’s not Jesus in your heart, it’s a worm

BananaPeal,
@BananaPeal@sh.itjust.works avatar

Wait, is that why people were taking ivermectin? Not to cure COVID, but to get rid of their Jesus heart worm?

21Cabbage, in Pray for their safety

Fine to do for getting off the thing if it stopped while you’re on it but no, they don’t just become stairs when they’re stopped. Go look up escalator brake failures if you want to see some horrifying videos of how that can go wrong.

Tarkcanis,

Got a sepcific video in mind? all the videos coming up are failures while they’re running.

21Cabbage,

Saw it a few years back and don’t care to look for it since that shit scares the shit out of me (used to be a ski lift operator, rollbacks become a phobia in that line of work) but it was a large amount of people marching up the thing like it was a set of stairs when it just gave out.

crashoverride,

Mitch hedberg is very disappointed in you

blusterydayve26,

If it hasn’t moved in two hours, we can probably assume it’s stopped.

Thade780, in doing his own research
@Thade780@lemmy.world avatar

I crave mashed potatoes now.

LemmyKnowsBest, (edited )

Richard Dreyfuss is Thade780

youtu.be/cdkS0TgEG30?si=4cxKP4CSVvBlZDeA

Corkyskog, in A lesson in Input Validation
@Corkyskog@sh.itjust.works avatar

I would be a little afraid of eating my order after that.

YoorWeb,

It depends, if the employer doesn’t treat his staff well, they’d give you extra portion.

768, in It's finally over.

I think the trolley responsibility problem might be ‘solved’, but is it just?

FlyingSquid,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

The man who killed the man who tied the people to the trolley tracks is not the hero we deserve, but the hero we need.

bstix,

Not according to the latest Indiana Jones movie.

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